Talk:HK Express/GA1

GA Review

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Comments:

"Cantonese Jyutping: hoeng1 gong2 faai3 wan6 hong4 hung1 jau5 haan6 gung1 si1),"? Apparently, the Chinese characters are not rendering here.
The sentence "Since the beginning of 2007, the airline went through some major expansions and changes, including the replacement of its four Embraer 170s with the introduction of the next generation Boeing 737-800; the introduction of scheduled passenger services to 15 new destinations across Asia; as well as the introduction of a new brand identity and a new Chinese name." is wordy. Splitted sentence at two places - after 'expansions and changes' and 'Boeing 737-800' - to read 'Since the beginning of 2007, the airline went through some major expansions and changes. These include the replacement of its four Embraer 170s with the introduction of the next generation Boeing 737-800. The introduction of scheduled passenger services to 15 new destinations across Asia as well as the introduction of a new brand identity and Chinese name.' Aviator006 (talk) 02:27, 5 August 2009 (UTC)[reply]
Add comma after "route" in sentence "Taiwanese carrier Mandarin Airlines, who also filed an application to operate the same charter flight route was unable to gain approval from the Hong Kong Administration." Comma added as suggested. Aviator006 (talk) 02:27, 5 August 2009 (UTC)[reply]
In sentence "The first scheduled passenger services began to Guangzhou on 8 September 2005, with services to Hangzhou and Ningbo followed in October and December, respectively.", changed "followed" to "following". Updated as suggested. Aviator006 (talk) 02:27, 5 August 2009 (UTC)[reply]
In sentence "On 3 August 2006, HNA Group, the parent company of Hainan Airlines, announced a finalised agreement to acquire a 45 percent stake in Hong Kong Express, this followed an earlier purchase of a 45 percent holdings in CR Airways in June.", change comma after Hong Kong Express to a semicolon. Updated as suggested. Aviator006 (talk) 02:27, 5 August 2009 (UTC)[reply]
The sentence "Analysts said that HNA Group, who had the weakest international network amongst all mainland airlines, by purchasing both Hong Kong's regional airlines, it would enable Hainan Airlines to expand internationally via its junior partners from Hong Kong." sounds wordy and awkward. Splitted sentence after 'mainland airlines', and reworded to 'Analysts said that the HNA Group had the weakest international network amongst all the mainland airlines. By purchasing both Hong Kong Express and CR Airways, it would enable Hainan Airlines to expand internationally via its junior partners from Hong Kong.' Aviator006 (talk) 02:27, 5 August 2009 (UTC)[reply]
In sentence "The new brand identity included a new aircraft livery with a new logo, a new website, new crew uniforms and a new Chinese name 香港快運航空有限公司. ", you severely overuse "new". Can this sentence be rewritten to use new less? Corrected and halved the usage of the word 'new', to read 'The new brand identity included a new look logo, aircraft livery, website, crew uniforms and a new Chinese name 香港快運航空有限公司.' Aviator006 (talk) 02:27, 5 August 2009 (UTC)[reply]
~~In the Loyalty programmes sections, the further information hatnote should be at the top of the section.~~ Moved as suggested. Aviator006 (talk) 02:27, 5 August 2009 (UTC)[reply]
~~First class needs to be disambiguated.~~ Corrected to [[First class (aviation)|First]]. Aviator006 (talk) 02:27, 5 August 2009 (UTC)[reply]

I am placing the article on hold. Dough4872 (talk) 17:30, 4 August 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Comments 2-9 have been reviewed and updated in the article, please check. Re comment 1, apologies, it is not a problem with rendering Chinese characters in Wikipedia. Jyutping is a Cantonese romanization, the number at the end of the sound represents the 'tone' (eg. high level, mid rising, mid level, low falling etc). One can pronounce the word without the tone number, however, for the correct and proper pronounciation, the tone number is necessary. Dough4872, thanks for reviewing all 'operating' Airlines of Hong Kong articles for me! Greatly appreciated it! :) Aviator006 (talk) 02:27, 5 August 2009 (UTC)[reply]

I will pass the article. Dough4872 (talk) 03:01, 5 August 2009 (UTC)[reply]