Talk:Birdsill Holly/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: MWright96 (talk · contribs) 14:39, 28 October 2020 (UTC)

Will be reviewing for the GAN October 2020 Backlog Drive. MWright96 (talk) 16:36, 28 October 2020 (UTC)

1. It is reasonably well written.

   a (prose): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):

2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.

   a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):

3. It is broad in its coverage.

   a (major aspects): b (focused):

4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.

   Fair representation without bias:

5. It is stable.

   No edit wars, etc.:

6. It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.

   a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):

7. Overall:

   Pass/Fail:

Lead

• Mention Holly was American for those who don't know

•  Done --Doug Coldwell (talk) 21:09, 28 October 2020 (UTC)

• "He is known for inventing mechanical devices that improved city water systems and firefighting. He patented an improved fire hydrant that is similar to those used currently." - consider merging these two sentences together

•  Done --Doug Coldwell (talk) 21:09, 28 October 2020 (UTC)

Personal life

• "Birdsill Holly Jr. was born October 8, 1820" - born on October

•  Done --Doug Coldwell (talk) 11:41, 29 October 2020 (UTC)

• "Holly was forced to drop out of school at the age of 10 when his father died prematurely;" - perhaps add more details on the circumstances surrounding his father's death

•  Done --Doug Coldwell (talk) 11:41, 29 October 2020 (UTC)

• "Holly started an apprenticeship at a cabinetry shop before he apprenticed in a machine shop." - repetition of "shop"

•  Done --Doug Coldwell (talk) 11:41, 29 October 2020 (UTC)

• "In a college thesis published in 1996 by Madelynn Frederickson ("The Life And Times Of Birdsill Holly")" - the parentheses are not needed and the title of the thesis can be italized

•  Done --Doug Coldwell (talk) 11:41, 29 October 2020 (UTC)

• "Holly died on April 27, 1894 at 7 pm at the age of 74." - 7:00 pm

•  Done --Doug Coldwell (talk) 11:41, 29 October 2020 (UTC)

Career

• All the measurements such as feet, pounds should be placed in the convert template

•  Done --~~

• "Over 1,000 were made," - More than

•  Done --Doug Coldwell (talk) 12:30, 29 October 2020 (UTC)

• "with the financial assistance of Washington Hunt and Thomas Flagler." - who were Hunt and Flagler?

•  Done --Doug Coldwell (talk) 12:30, 29 October 2020 (UTC)

• "in over two thousand cities in the United States and Canada." - more than

•  Done --Doug Coldwell (talk) 12:30, 29 October 2020 (UTC)

• "He patented a fire hydrant in 1869 used for fire protection." - fire hydrant used for fire protection in 1869.

•  Done --Doug Coldwell (talk) 12:30, 29 October 2020 (UTC)

• "The pumps ran at various speeds according to usage. It was regulated by the pressure in the discharge main." - IMO these two sentences can be merged together

•  Done --Doug Coldwell (talk) 12:30, 29 October 2020 (UTC)

• "Holly's district heating system used a large boiler at a central plant. This system provided steam to a group of town buildings in a surrounding city district through a circuit of insulated water pipes that distributed steam and returned it as water after being condensed." - these two sentences could be merged together

•  Done --Doug Coldwell (talk) 12:30, 29 October 2020 (UTC)

• "He repeated the experiment with a 100-foot pipe to a neighbor's" - Think there is a few words missing from this sentence

•  Done --Doug Coldwell (talk) 12:30, 29 October 2020 (UTC)

• "He was a friend of inventor Thomas Edison. Edison once asked Holly to become an assistant at his research laboratory in Menlo Park," - try not to start the beginning of the following sentence using the last of the preceding sentence

•  Done --Doug Coldwell (talk) 12:30, 29 October 2020 (UTC)

References

• Reference 4 "Birdsill Holly, Jr" should include the work

•  Done --Doug Coldwell (talk) 13:05, 29 October 2020 (UTC)

• Reference 5 "Attempts to hide scandalous private life may have caused inventor's national obscurity" was from October 4, 1998 not 2020

•  Done --Doug Coldwell (talk) 13:05, 29 October 2020 (UTC)

• Also the same Reference should not include The Buffalo News newspaper as the publisher

•  Done --Doug Coldwell (talk) 13:05, 29 October 2020 (UTC)

• Reference 7 "Who Invented The Fire Hydrant? The Story of Birdsill Holly" is missing the work

•  Done --Doug Coldwell (talk) 13:05, 29 October 2020 (UTC)

Will put the review on hold to allow the nominator to address or query the points raised above. MWright96 (talk)

•  Working Thanks for review. --Doug Coldwell (talk) 18:03, 28 October 2020 (UTC)
• @MWright96: All issues have been addressed. Can you take another look. Thanks.--Doug Coldwell (talk) 13:05, 29 October 2020 (UTC)
  • @Doug Coldwell: Now promoting to GA class. MWright96 (talk) 13:36, 29 October 2020 (UTC)