Talk:Bowen Byram/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: AryKun (talk · contribs) 17:59, 25 January 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Will do soon. AryKun (talk) 17:59, 25 January 2022 (UTC)[reply]
"After only 19 regular" → "After playing only 19 regular"
- Modified to playing in as technically more correct, since he was not on the ice all 60 minutes.
Why is Colorado Avalanche italicized in the infobox?
- It's a quirk of the infobox itself; the "team" parameter automatically italicizes.
"midget hockey" → Link.
- Added.
"part of a 5–2 defeat of the Regina Pats" → "part of a 5–2 victory over the Regina Pats" would be better and less confusing
- Modified.
"his 16-year season" → How can a season be 16 years long?
- Clarified as 16-year-old season.
"helped the team to clinch" → The "to" is unnecessary.
- Removed.
"first Vancouver Giant in history" → "first Vancouver Giant ever" would be better
- Changed to to ever receive.
"receive four negative tests for the COVID-19 virus" → COVID-19 virus doesn't make sense, "test negative for COVID-19 four times" would be better
- Modified but included the tests, because production of four physical test results was the qualification. It seems pedantic, but considering false positives and negatives, I want to be precise with what was actually being asked.
"playing in 11 minutes" → "playing for 11 minutes"
- Changed.
"he absorbed his third concussion" → Absorbed doesn't seem like the right verb
- Modified to "sustained".
Refs are all good.

AryKun All points addressed; please see this diff. Thank you for your prompt review and excellent suggestions! — Ghost River 16:35, 28 January 2022 (UTC)[reply]