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Ideas for improvements

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This is a good article, in my opinion. The only reason why I rated it above as not meeting class B criteria was that the style is quite informal in places, and there are some lists of peoples' names that I think would be better placed in collapsible tables or left out altogether. Falconusp t c 17:30, 24 January 2011 (UTC)[reply]

Could you give examples? I've gone with the mentality that the more information the better. But I would like to get this article to B or GA status. It helps A LOT to have fresh eyes. Thanks, PGPirate 03:02, 25 January 2011 (UTC)[reply]
Okay, the sentence "Mike McGinnis was the first chief flight nurse, while Mary Jo Bankhead, Alena Bramble, Dolly Bryan, Pam Demaree, Betty Harris, Breda Hurdle, John Nelson and Cindy Raisor were all flight nurses. Willie Dykes, Perry Reynolds and Sam Ewing were the first pilots.[7]" has a lot of names. I think that those kinds of lists are better outside of a paragraph, either in a list, or in a table. I would recommend not listing them all in the article. The next example is "...apparent that the staff was very tired and needed replacing". That sounds a little informal to me, like a narrative, not an encyclopedia. Perhaps you could state instead that EastCare took over for the people that had been responding. Again, it is a very good article, and you should be proud of yourself. I am new at rating things, so perhaps I was being too nitpicky. If you make those changes, let me know, and I'll rate it again. Falconusp t c 03:38, 25 January 2011 (UTC)[reply]
I made a table. Unsure if it will be too cluttered or what. But I think it helps the article flow better. Also went through and did some tidying up.PGPirate 23:52, 25 January 2011 (UTC)[reply]
I changed the wording of the tired & needs replacing sentence. Feel free to change it back if you don't like it. I have also upgraded to a B. I think I was grading hard earlier... The caveat remains that I am new at this, so it's possible somebody will come along and disagree. Falconusp t c 04:04, 26 January 2011 (UTC)[reply]
I think it looks much better now. Thanks for the help! PGPirate 16:43, 26 January 2011 (UTC)[reply]
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