Talk:Halo: Reach/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: The Utahraptor ^Talk/_Contribs 20:00, 29 December 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Hello, I will be reviewing this article. My review will be posted within the next hour or two. The Utahraptor ^Talk/_Contribs 20:00, 29 December 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Note: I have not finished reviewing the article; however, feel free to fix the problems already listed. I have finished my review. I'll keep this nomination open and watch for the requested changes. The Utahraptor ^Talk/_Contribs 20:53, 29 December 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Alright, I see that most of these problems have been addressed, and while I still see only three photos, I have decided to pass this article. The Utahraptor ^Talk/_Contribs 13:28, 11 January 2011 (UTC)[reply]

1. Clearly written, in good prose with correct spelling and grammar

Lead

"...moving more than 3 million units its first month..." - Spell out numbers one through ten, except in some cases.

Gameplay

"When the energy shield is depleted, the player character's health takes a hit..." - Consider revising to "When the energy shield is depleted, the player character loses health..."

Multiplayer

"When a player dies all their accumulated skulls are dropped as well." - Consider adding commas after "dies" and "dropped".
""Invasion" is a six versus six mode with 3 squads of two..." - Spell out the number.
"Elites vie for control of territories to disable a shield guarding a navigation core; once the shield is disabled..." - Consider ending the first sentence at core, and beginning the next sentence at "once".
"As the game progresses, new vehicles, and areas of the map become open." - Consider removing the second comma.

Plot

"He rams his ship into a Covenant mobile assault platform" - Consider adding in the name of this platform: Scarab. Suggested edit: "He rams his ship into a Covenant Scarab (a mobile assault platform)"
"Six assists with the evacuation of the city's civilians; Kat is killed by a sniper." - Consider revising to "Six assists with the evacuation of the city's civilians. During this procedure, Kat is killed by a sniper."
"...Halsey shows Noble Team an ancient Forerunner artifact that she believes is key to winning the war." - Consider adding "the" before "key".

Design

"...the 'survive' component [...] felt great to us." - Consider removing the brackets and spaces around the ellipsis.
"...redesign key enemies, weapons and elements of the series..." - Consider adding a comma after weapons.

Technology

"For Reach Bungie made it a goal..." - Consider adding a comma after Reach.

Audio

"...past Halo collaborators Salvatori, C. Paul Johnson and Stan LePard..." - Consider adding a comma after Johnson.

Announcements

"On June 23, 2010 Bungie reached..." - Consider adding a comma after 2010.

Multiplayer beta

"Bungie's previous multiplayer beta for Halo 3 had drawn 800,000 players; while more than..." - Consider replacing the semicolon with a comma.
"...while more than 3 million copies..." - Spell out the number.
"...estimating between 2 and 3 million." - Spell out the numbers.
"Due to development schedules, the code players experienced was already six weeks old, with several bugs and issues had already been addressed internally, but would still be an issue in the beta." - This sentence is confusing and should be rewritten.
"Bungie used the beta to fix mistakes, glitches, and change the balance of gameplay elements;..." - Consider replacing the semicolon with a period.
"...from emails, notes and forums was more difficult." - Consider adding a comma after notes.

Release

"...in-game Spartan armor effect and a 10-pound..." - Consider adding a comma after effect.
"Microsoft listed Reach as an Xbox Live Marketplace download on August 12, 2010, at a price of 99999 Microsoft Points (~US$1250);" - Consider replacing the semicolon with a period.

Marketing

"...while AKQA developed interactive components; the agencies were involved..." - Consider replacing the semicolon with a period.
"The advertising campaign kicked off in April 2010..." - Consider rephrasing to "The advertising campaign began in April 2010..."
"Reach was released Tuesday September 14 local time in 25 countries." - Consider adding a comma after Tuesday, and consider removing "local time".

Sales

"Reach dropped out of the top 20 best selling titles its second week entirely." - Consider revising to "Reach dropped out of the 20 best-selling titles entirely during its second week."
"Morse, Baratt and others lauded..." - Consider adding a comma after Baratt.

2. Factually accurate

I see no problems here. Citations all look fine.

3. Without original research

No problems here.

4. Broad in coverage

No problems here.

5. Written from a neutral point of view

I was expecting to see at least a little promotional talk in this article, but I saw none. No problems here.

6. Stable, with no ongoing edit wars

Some vandalism, but the article is semi-protected. Looks fine to me.

7. Compliant with image use policy

There are only three images. These images look good, but I think this article could be a bit better if it had a couple more images. Could a couple more images be provided?