Talk:Israeli occupation of the West Bank/GA2

GA Review

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Reviewer: A455bcd9 (talk · contribs) 11:35, 26 November 2023 (UTC)[reply]

GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)

مرحبا! I'm a newbie at GAN review, but I thought I could give it a try, no matter how complex and controversial the topic is, as this article has been waiting for months in the backlog... a455bcd9 (Antoine) (talk) 11:35, 26 November 2023 (UTC)[reply]

It is reasonably well written.
a (prose, spelling, and grammar): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
It is factually accurate and verifiable.
a (reference section): b (inline citations to reliable sources): c (OR): d (copyvio and plagiarism):
Some "cn" tags. I could not verify some statements that are sourced, for instance International usage speaks of the West Bank, whereas Israeli usage prefers "Judea and Samaria",. The citation formats are not consistent. Sometimes {{sfn}} is used (going to the "References" section), while when there's a quote, {{efn}} is used (going to "Notes"). Instead, sfn could be used everywhere, with the quote in "loc=p. PAGENUMBER: "QUOTE"." (if the quote is really needed). If possible, it would be ideal to cite secondary academic sources that mention B'Tselem's reports instead of citing B'Tselem reports directly, even if attributed. Same for journalistic sources. [It would also be easier for the reviewer to have one ref per sentence and one sentence per ref.]
It is broad in its coverage.
a (major aspects): b (focused):
Per WP:TOOBIG, with 113 kB and 18,306 words ("readable prose size", this does not even include the dozens of long citations in the notes), this article is way too long and has to be trimmed. For instance, there's one section "Legal status" and one subsection "Legal status"
It follows the neutral point of view policy.
Fair representation without bias:
I don't know for this one. While, the article is well-sourced using mostly high-quality RS, the overall layout gives me a feeling of lack of neutrality favoring the Palestinian side. For instance the titles of the sections. Also I don't get why the article starts with "Media coverage and bias" followed by "The West Bank in 1967" (describing us the wonderful situation of Palestinians in the West Bank back then, I don't get what the sentence "Education was (and remains[j]) a high priority," has to do with the topic for instance). A more neutral structure of the article could be: "Historical background", "Six-Day War and conquest", "Legal status" (both under domestic Israeli law + international law and recognition by foreign countries), "Socio-economic impact", and "Human rights and humanitarian issues".
It is stable.
No edit wars, etc.:
It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
a (images are tagged and non-free content have non-free use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
Overall:
Pass/Fail:
First step: trim this article, ideally to 6,000 words (40 kB), meaning cutting two thirds of the article.

[Update after one week on hold: No answer from the nominator and no improvement in the meantime. In any case, the required work to bring this article to GA standard is probably way too high to be done while on hold. To sum up, beside the sheer long size, the article lacks the required focus. For instance, there's one section "Legal status", one subsection "Legal status" (under "Settlement") and one subsection "Legal system" under "Territorial fragmentation and domination over the Palestinians" that cover inter-related (if not identical) topics that could be merged and summarized into one "Legal status" section. There were also issues with verifiability + some primary sources that should be replaced by secondary RS. (I also mentioned in the above rating template that the overall tone also gave me a feeling of a lack of neutrality but I'm not an expert in this domain so another reviewer may have another opinion on this.) I thank the nominator for their work on this topic of extreme importance. I hope the article will soon be nominated again and succeed. a455bcd9 (Antoine) (talk) 15:02, 5 December 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Added an NPOV tag following Section review: Fair representation without bias. Talk section is further down. Homerethegreat (talk) 20:19, 7 December 2023 (UTC)[reply]