Talk:Jacques Gershkovitch/GA1
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[edit]- The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made in a new section.
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Reviewer: Johanna (talk · contribs) 21:29, 7 March 2016 (UTC)
Hello! This is currently third on my "to review" list, which means that I should be able to review in a few days. Johanna(talk to me!) 21:29, 7 March 2016 (UTC)
- Thank you much. I look forward to addressing your concerns whenever you are ready. ---Another Believer (Talk) 22:05, 7 March 2016 (UTC)
- Comments
- In the infobox, I would list his wife as "Lucia Gershkovitch"
- Done. ---Another Believer (Talk) 17:31, 15 March 2016 (UTC)
- Do we have a birthdate and death date?
- Both unknown based on my research. Maybe if I take the article to featured status I can visit the library and search the archives for obituaries. ---Another Believer (Talk) 17:31, 15 March 2016 (UTC)
- If you could trim the lead a little bit, I think that it would be good as it is a little too long in comparison with the length of the article, in my opinion.
- Reduced a bit, and converted 3 paragraphs to 2. ---Another Believer (Talk) 17:35, 15 March 2016 (UTC)
- I know we don't want to make the image so small that it's difficult to see, but could you reduce it a little bit? It's quite pixelated.
- I agree, the image is bad, but it is better than none and I think it is preferred to leave the image width parameter alone because people have different browser/viewing settings. ---Another Believer (Talk) 17:37, 15 March 2016 (UTC)
- Could you split "early life and education" and "Relocation" into two paragraphs?
- Done. ---Another Believer (Talk) 17:40, 15 March 2016 (UTC)
- Who said the "who made up in enthusiasm what he lacked in skill" quote?
- I assume Jacob Avshalomov, the author of the book listed in the inline citation, unless he was quoting someone else. I no longer have access to the book. Do I need to adjust the wording somehow, or can readers see the author of the book or even find it if they need more info? ---Another Believer (Talk) 17:42, 15 March 2016 (UTC)
- I would change the sentence "However, before 1917 the two had never met." to read "The two met in 1917, and..."
- Done. ---Another Believer (Talk) 23:10, 16 March 2016 (UTC)
- "There he organized" this is a bit of a confusing construction, as the previous sentence talked about his marriage. Also, where's the "there"?
- I would split or rephrase the sentence beginning "During a service rehearsal..."
- The next few sentences, which directly apply to the sentence I just mentioned, might need rephrasing as well.
- I would shorten the title of the next section to simply "relocation"
- Done. ---Another Believer (Talk) 23:20, 16 March 2016 (UTC)
- "the Orient" is a bit of an outdated term
- You know, I thought the same thing, but I went with what the sources said. I will change to Asia. ---Another Believer (Talk) 23:20, 16 March 2016 (UTC)
- First sentence of "Portland Youth Philharmonic": remove "conductor"
- Done. ---Another Believer (Talk) 23:20, 16 March 2016 (UTC)
- There's actually only two complete movements of the Unfinished Symphony, so you don't really have to say that they performed "two movements" of it.
- Ok. Done. ---Another Believer (Talk) 23:20, 16 March 2016 (UTC)
- Be more specific than "legend says"
- I would spell out "kill" correctly
- Hmm, there must be a way to show sic or intentional misspelling due to a heavy accent. I think this statement is supposed to be more about his persona and not read as though he was actually threatening to kill a student. I think correcting the spelling changes the tone of the sentence. Any other ideas? ---Another Believer (Talk) 23:20, 16 March 2016 (UTC)
- I went ahead and added the "sic" template. ---Another Believer (Talk) 23:28, 16 March 2016 (UTC)
- Two external links: (this and this) are dead.
@Another Believer: Thank you for this work on this article. I've spent many hours in youth orchestra rehearsals, so I was pleasantly surprised to see this article at GAN. Johanna(talk to me!) 22:25, 16 March 2016 (UTC)
- Thanks so much! Glad to hear! ---Another Believer (Talk) 23:24, 16 March 2016 (UTC)
- Wonderful. Pass. Johanna(talk to me!) 02:07, 17 March 2016 (UTC)
Final assessment
[edit]- It is reasonably well written.
- It is factually accurate and verifiable.
- a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR): d (copyvio and plagiarism):
- a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR): d (copyvio and plagiarism):
- It is broad in its coverage.
- a (major aspects): b (focused):
- a (major aspects): b (focused):
- It follows the neutral point of view policy.
- Fair representation without bias:
- Fair representation without bias:
- It is stable.
- No edit wars, etc.:
- No edit wars, etc.:
- It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
- a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
- a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
- Overall:
- Pass/Fail:
- Pass/Fail:
The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.