Talk:James Jabara/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Ed! (talk • message • contribs • count • logs • email) 05:19, 31 August 2011 (UTC)[reply]

GA review (see here for criteria) (see here for this contributor's history of GA reviews)

It is reasonably well written:
1. "Jabara with his wife, Nina,..." When did they meet and marry? It's kind of a rough transition from high school graduate to married pilot.
  I previously searched for their marriage year but all of the sources I've come across just mention he's married. --Happy editing! Nehrams2020 (talk • contrib) 20:07, 3 September 2011 (UTC)[reply]
2. Also, are there any details about when the children were born?
  I've added the birth years. --Happy editing! Nehrams2020 (talk • contrib) 20:07, 3 September 2011 (UTC)[reply]
3. Since the Air Force wasn't created independently until 1947, it should be noted that he actually enlisted in the Army and joined the Army Air Corps
  I've reworded to indicate this in the Early life section. --Happy editing! Nehrams2020 (talk • contrib) 20:07, 3 September 2011 (UTC)[reply]
4. "During one mission, while in formation, he collided with another P-51, but Jabara escaped safely." - any word on what happened to the other pilot or if the aircraft had to be written off?
  I found another source saying that both aircraft were destroyed while the pilots both survived. --Happy editing! Nehrams2020 (talk • contrib) 20:07, 3 September 2011 (UTC)[reply]
5. "...and when both pilots safely landed on the ground, they met and shook hands." - something is missing here. Why did he and a German pilot safely land in the same airfield?
  The source said the planes floated to the ground, so I don't believe they landed at a base. There's unfortunately also no details about what happened afterwards. --Happy editing! Nehrams2020 (talk • contrib) 20:07, 3 September 2011 (UTC)[reply]
6. The transitions in both World War II and Korea sections are a little rough. You might want to add a little bit of background on both wars and where he was when they began in order to make for a more smooth read. I suggest consulting the histories of the units he was a part of at the beginning of both wars for this.
  I added brief intros to both wars, let me know if it should be modified further. --Happy editing! Nehrams2020 (talk • contrib) 20:07, 3 September 2011 (UTC)[reply]
7. "...Jabara recorded his final kill on July 15" - be consistent with dates. For most of the article it is "15 July" but I see a few instances where it is switched around.
  I was sure I had fixed all of these. I fixed this one, and didn't see any others. --Happy editing! Nehrams2020 (talk • contrib) 20:07, 3 September 2011 (UTC)[reply]
8. "The Soviet Union had three other pilots who exceeded Jabara's victories and argued that one of their pilots became the first jet ace before Jabara." - that doesn't match up with the info on the Korean War aces page. (incidentally I've been working on that page a bunch this week) Also, please clarify which pilot they meant. I assume it is Stepan I. Naumenko but a reference would be beneficial.
  Nice work on expanding that list, I only added a source to it a month ago to get rid of the citation tag. The included source only says another pilot. I've instead listed all of the Soviet aces that surpassed or tied his victories. I did find this, but I'm not sure if it would be considered reliable for linking into the article? It indicates that the Soviet pilot (not Naumenko) who became a jet ace actually did it at the same battle as Jabara, just a few minutes later. --Happy editing! Nehrams2020 (talk • contrib) 20:07, 3 September 2011 (UTC)[reply]
9. "...he volunteered to fly combat missions for the Vietnam War." - more information here is important for a GA. How long was he in Vietnam? What did he do there?
  Again, not too many details available. He did fly that mission, and then returned home. He was going to return for further missions but was killed in the car accident. I've reworded accordingly. --Happy editing! Nehrams2020 (talk • contrib) 20:07, 3 September 2011 (UTC)[reply]
It is factually accurate and verifiable:
Toolserv is returning a 404 error on one of the links. Please fix.

Fixed the link. The url actually changed from "www." to "www1.". Never seen the 1 included before in an url. --Happy editing! Nehrams2020 (talk • contrib) 20:07, 3 September 2011 (UTC)[reply]
It is broad in its coverage:
Pass.
It follows the neutral point of view policy:
1. "...he was awarded a Distinguished Service Cross, the nation's second-highest decoration, for his heroics that day." - non-neutral language.
  Should have caught that one. Fixed. --Happy editing! Nehrams2020 (talk • contrib) 20:07, 3 September 2011 (UTC)[reply]
2. "...his first of two missions for the day resulted in one MiG kill." - the neutral language, as far as I've seen, is to always refer to shot-down planes as "victories."
  Reworded throughout the article. --Happy editing! Nehrams2020 (talk • contrib) 20:07, 3 September 2011 (UTC)[reply]
3. "he shot down a MiG before he came under heavy enemy fire." - "Enemy" is also frowned upon in terms of neutral language. Probably best to add the nationality of the opposing pilots (North Korean, Russian or Chinese) to be most effective.
  Reworded throughout. --Happy editing! Nehrams2020 (talk • contrib) 20:07, 3 September 2011 (UTC)[reply]
It is stable:
Pass.
It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate:
Just a note, the commons have a lot of good photos which could be added to the article.
Yeah, I uploaded the majority of those. I added the Commons link at the bottom of the article for the benefit of the readers. I've added another image in the article to include in the WWII section. --Happy editing! Nehrams2020 (talk • contrib) 20:07, 3 September 2011 (UTC)[reply]
Overall:
A great article overall. On hold pending these changes. —Ed!^(talk) 05:19, 31 August 2011 (UTC)[reply]
Thank you for taking the time to review the article. I'm glad I had a reviewer that was familiar with the associated topics related to the subject. --Happy editing! Nehrams2020 (talk • contrib) 20:07, 3 September 2011 (UTC)[reply]
It looks great now, passing GA. —Ed!^(talk) 23:59, 3 September 2011 (UTC)[reply]