Talk:Killdeer/GA1
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Reviewer: I'll have a go at this informative article. Chiswick Chap (talk · contribs) 13:39, 27 September 2018 (UTC)
Comments
[edit]Maybe say right up front in Habitat and distribution that the species is partly migratory, and wikilink Bird migration.
"Both sexes (although the former more often than the latter) advertise in flight with loud "killdeer" calls." Needs a rewrite as there aren't any formers and latters.
I'd suggest adding a 'further' link to Antipredator adaptation at the head of the 'Responses to predators' section, and link it in the lead. That might also be a better name for the section, actually.
- I'll link anti-predator adaptation in the lead, and then have the further link in the body be "distraction display", as this more accurately describes what the killdeer does. RileyBugz私に叫ぼう私の編集 22:29, 27 September 2018 (UTC)
- OK, thanks.
- I'll link anti-predator adaptation in the lead, and then have the further link in the body be "distraction display", as this more accurately describes what the killdeer does. RileyBugz私に叫ぼう私の編集 22:29, 27 September 2018 (UTC)
Suggest wikilink (lead and body) Foraging, Predator (or Predation), Distraction display. This last could be a 'further' link if you wanted as it's a major feature.
"The day after the precocial (starting to walk in the first few days of its life) young hatch,..." Suggest "The young are precocial, starting to walk .... The day after hatching, they are led ..."
- Done. Thank you for that fix; I was a bit unsure about how I worded it, and your's is much better. RileyBugz私に叫ぼう私の編集 20:12, 28 September 2018 (UTC)
"One parent ... They are also brooded." Needs minor rewrite, it's the chicks not the parents that are brooded...
"does almost all of the defense". Could be better worded.
- I don't see an alternative; "most" wouldn't work, because that just means over 50%, whereas "almost all" would mean something over 90% or so. RileyBugz私に叫ぼう私の編集 20:12, 28 September 2018 (UTC)
- It'd be a terrible phrase over here in England, but it obviously sounds fine to an American speaker, so let's leave it.
- I don't see an alternative; "most" wouldn't work, because that just means over 50%, whereas "almost all" would mean something over 90% or so. RileyBugz私に叫ぼう私の編集 20:12, 28 September 2018 (UTC)
In Feeding, you might wikilink tree frog and minnow, perhaps other prey. You might want to find a link target for "disseminules", not a common term.
In the image caption, why does the reader need to know this chick is in New Jersey, that female is in Pennsylvania? Unless there's special ecology there, it seems extraneous.
- Because the United States is a big place, and so ecology varies widely across the country. Thus, I feel that it is appropriate to note the state, just like the country is noted in the picture showing the subspecies C. v. ternominatus. RileyBugz私に叫ぼう私の編集 20:12, 28 September 2018 (UTC)
- I think you're overdoing the big place thing, but hey.
- Because the United States is a big place, and so ecology varies widely across the country. Thus, I feel that it is appropriate to note the state, just like the country is noted in the picture showing the subspecies C. v. ternominatus. RileyBugz私に叫ぼう私の編集 20:12, 28 September 2018 (UTC)
- I will note in passing that most of the refs are primary, though it seems that many of these are being used for more general (secondary) facts in their introductory sections. You might want to introduce some more good-quality secondary sources such as review articles or textbooks (e.g. Stanley Cramp, The Birds of the Western Palearctic, volume 3, RSPB/OUP, 1983, pages 143-146, for instance), especially if you're thinking of going on to FAC.
That's about it from me. Chiswick Chap (talk) 15:50, 27 September 2018 (UTC)