Talk:Memorial Hall (Rockford, Illinois)

Military history: Memorials / North America / United States

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Illinois Mid‑importance

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Clean up work

This article needs a bit of work. I think some inline citations with page numbers might help out, if the editor who has the book is still around and could help out, I can add them and mark where I think they should go using {{fact}} as I did in the 100th anniversary section. I have some other notes below and this is all stuff I will try to work on.

I undertook some copy editing work (still needs some more) and a bit of a restructuring which I think is a bit more logical and flows a bit better. I also added a better image in the infobox but I do think that this article's info box should be converted to {{infobox_nrhp}}.

The 100th anniversary section is unreferenced and makes some pretty outstanding claims that need specific references.
The "Notes" section is really just a trivia section and it should be integrated into the body of the text in the appropriate section(s).
This sentence: President Roosevelt became the only sitting president to dedicate a Memorial building still standing within the state of Illinois.

Doesn't make any sense, clarify.

Doesn't make any sense on first read, the second time around I see what your getting at but it's not very clear, how about: Memorial Hall is the only memorial building still standing in the state of Illinois that was dedicated by a sitting U.S. president. IvoShandor 14:33, 25 July 2007 (UTC)[reply]

That's all for now, this is all intended to help not disparage anyone or their contributions : ) IvoShandor 14:30, 25 July 2007 (UTC)[reply]

More thoughts . . .

Done Should we just move this page to Memorial Hall (Rockford, Illinois), Wikipedia titles should follow most common usage, which Memorial Hall is.

I just did this. IvoShandor 14:42, 25 July 2007 (UTC)[reply]

We should pick a name and stick with it in the article text, I say give the formal name once (first reference), which is, according to my sources "Soldiers and Sailors Memorial Hall" (though it appears "Winnebago County War Memorial" should be mentioned too) and then call it Memorial Hall throughout.

The official name should be the name of the article, and we can just have a redirect from the current name. I also agree that Winnebago County War Memorial should also be listed in the begining (and have a redirect) and go with Memorial Hall throughout.--Kranar drogin 22:43, 25 July 2007 (UTC)[reply]

The lead will need to be reworked. It shouldn't have any information that doesn't appear in the body of the article, the lead (or intro) should prepare the reader for what is to come. See lead guidelines.

That's all for now. IvoShandor 14:37, 25 July 2007 (UTC)[reply]

I came here to fix a link to the USS Maine that wasn't ending up on the right page; ended up doing quite a bit of typo fixes and grammar cleanup. Article still needs sources, some citations, serious cleanup on the trivia section, and a proper lead that summarizes the article topic without extraneous information that belongs in the article itself. Maralia 20:41, 19 August 2007 (UTC)[reply]

Edits

I removed the trivia section and edited material that was clearly dated. I also added the correct web link for the hall. I cannot find any evidence (on the web, Google or on rare book sites) that there is a book entitled "History of the Grand Army of the Republic" by Dyer. That may have something to do with the lack of specific page numbers. I am guessing the reference was a matter of vanity and/or marketing. 98.213.201.27 (talk) —Preceding comment was added at 05:18, 13 April 2008 (UTC)[reply]