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Did you know nomination

[edit]
The following is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.

The result was: promoted by AirshipJungleman29 talk 14:07, 25 December 2023 (UTC)[reply]

  • ... that the Canada Council for the Arts Musical Instrument Bank holds a competition every three years in order to loan its entire inventory of string instruments? Source: " In a continual cycle of loans to promising young musicians, who compete every three years for the chance to use them, they have helped boost the careers of international stars..." and "The aim is to loan every instrument, and any new acquisitions are immediately offered to the reserve applicants rather than being held back until the next competition."Canada Council Musical Instrument Bank

Moved to mainspace by Mindmatrix (talk). Self-nominated at 18:46, 11 November 2023 (UTC). Post-promotion hook changes for this nom will be logged at Template talk:Did you know nominations/Musical Instrument Bank; consider watching this nomination, if it is successful, until the hook appears on the Main Page.[reply]

Interesting article on fine sources, accepting those I can't access AGF. Hook: "Canada Council for the Arts Musical Instrument Bank" is a long term of unknown things. What do you think of "Musical Instrument Bank of the Canada Council for the Arts", or at least "Canada Council for the Arts' Musical Instrument Bank"? Could "string instruments" perhaps come sooner. - Article: I am no friend of the duplication in the "referencing" of the instrunments, These are not independent, so not really references, - they could appear as short links - explained - as for example the links to Reger's works in his list of works (last column). Think about it. It's not in the way of DYK, just to avoid confusing readers, - admitting that I was confused ;) --Gerda Arendt (talk) 14:09, 24 November 2023 (UTC)[reply]
@Gerda Arendt: I've updated the references in the table to remove duplication (I realize you said it's not in the way of DYK, but figured I may as well do it anyway), though I've left them as references instead of offsite links. (They only verify incidental details - year acquired and whether the instrument is owned by the Bank or loaned to it, so figured this was OK; I can convert them to offsite links if this isn't acceptable.) I do prefer, however, to have references tightly coupled with the data they are referencing, so am not a fan of this style.
Regarding the hook, I'm OK with rephrasing to "Musical Instrument Bank of the Canada Council for the Arts". I have not come up with a good way of rephrasing to place "string instruments" earlier in the hook. I'd also like to mention these are "prestigious" instruments by Stradivari, Guarnieri et al (as opposed to mass produced instruments), but haven't found a way to do so, and none of the refs mention "prestigious" or any similar word. Perhaps something like "...in order to loan its entire inventory of Stradivari, Guarnieri and other string instruments" could be done. I've added a few ALTs for consideration. Mindmatrix 15:17, 25 November 2023 (UTC)[reply]
ALT1: "...that the Musical Instrument Bank of the Canada Council for the Arts holds a competition every three years in order to loan its entire inventory of Stradivari and other string instruments?"
ALT2: "...that the Musical Instrument Bank of the Canada Council for the Arts holds a competition every three years in order to loan its entire inventory of string instruments?"
ALT3: "...that in order to loan its entire inventory of string instruments, the Musical Instrument Bank of the Canada Council for the Arts holds a competition every three years?"
ALT4: "...that in order to loan its entire inventory of Stradivari and other string instruments, the Musical Instrument Bank of the Canada Council for the Arts holds a competition every three years?"
Thank you for explaining, and the ALTs. Am I right that it's the Council that runs the competition, and the Bank rather the inventory? Then the conconstruction "Bank holds competition" doesn't really work. I know the feeling of wanting to put much into a hook. Perhaps we don't need the lenghty full name of the Council? Perhaps not the three years? Want to try something new, perhaps even without competition, just describing instruments on loan for players? --Gerda Arendt (talk) 15:57, 25 November 2023 (UTC)[reply]
Example: ... that the Canada Council for the Arts holds a competition to find string players worthy to be loaned historic instruments from their Musical Instrument Bank? --Gerda Arendt (talk) 16:00, 25 November 2023 (UTC)[reply]
@Gerda Arendt: How about:
ALT5: ... that the entire inventory of historic string instruments in Canada's Musical Instrument Bank are loaned to musicians by a competition held every three years?
The fact the competition is run by the Canada Council for the Arts is extraneous detail, I suppose. Mindmatrix 15:25, 3 December 2023 (UTC)[reply]
ALT5 is excellent, thank you! --Gerda Arendt (talk) 16:09, 3 December 2023 (UTC)[reply]