Talk:Sarah Geronimo/GA1

GA Review

Unsuccessful. Spookyaki (talk) 00:15, 19 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Nominator: ScarletViolet (talk · contribs) 09:46, 11 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Reviewer: Spookyaki (talk · contribs) 05:35, 18 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Hi! I am working on reviewing this article in the upcoming days as part of the Women in Green Good Article Edit-a-thon. This is my first GA review, so I apologize if I make mistakes. Thank you for your patience. Spookyaki (talk) 05:35, 18 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]

@Spookyaki: Okay. Good luck on your review. ScarletViolet t c 13:43, 18 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]

GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)

It is reasonably well written.
a (prose, spelling, and grammar): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
It is factually accurate and verifiable, as shown by a source spot-check.
a (reference section): b (inline citations to reliable sources): c (OR): d (copyvio and plagiarism):
It is broad in its coverage.
a (major aspects): b (focused):
It follows the neutral point of view policy.
Fair representation without bias:
It is stable.
No edit wars, etc.:
It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
a (images are tagged and non-free content have non-free use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
Overall:
Pass/Fail:

Copyright status on images looks good. I would say overall the article is very well-illustrated. Great job! No banners or edit wars. Copyvio check says "violation possible,” but "violations” seem to be properly attributed in the article using quotation marks. Made some minor edits myself to fix typos and minor grammatical mistakes.

Close paraphrasing

Her father has worked for telecommunications company PLDT, while her mother, an economics major at the University of Santo Tomas, has run many businesses at their home — Awkwardly worded, also might constitute WP:CLOP.

Sibling middle names

She has two older sisters, Jonah Rizzie and Sunshine Grace, and a younger brother, Ezekiel Gabriel — I don't see the siblings' middle names mentioned in fns 2, 4, or 5. Have I missed it?

First vocal coach

Geronimo shared a close relationship with her father, whom she considers her first 'vocal coach' — The article's author says this, and Geronimo describes her father coaching her, but does she specifically say that she considers him her "first vocal coach”? If not, could probably just rephrase: "Geronimo shared a close relationship with her father, who served as her first vocal coach.”

Vocal training

...she learned about the childhood of singer Regine Velasquez, who was immersed neck-deep in the sea during her vocal training. To strengthen her windpipe, her father submerged her in water — Since the San Diego article explicitly makes the connection between the two events, it might make sense to make the connection more explicit in this article. ex. "...she learned about the childhood of singer Regine Velasquez, who was immersed neck-deep in the sea during her vocal training to strengthen her windpipe. Her father also submerged her in a water drum in imitation of the practice.”

Homeschooling

...she dropped out of school to focus on her music career — The sources seem to indicate that she dropped out from UST but continued via "the homeschooling program of Angelicum College.” The chronology from this is not entirely clear to me. Did she drop out and then at some later point enroll in the homeschooling program?

Popstar: A Dream Come True Songs

It included the tracks 'Sa Iyo', written by Jun Murillo, 'Forever's Not Enough', written by Vehnee Saturno, and 'Narito' and 'If Only', both written by Ogie Alcasid, as well as a cover of Dion's 'To Love You More' — The sources for the songs "Sa Iyo,” "Forever's Not Enough,” "Narito,” and "If Only” (fns 17, 18, and 19) indicate that Geronimo sang those songs, but not that they were on the album, unless I'm missing something?

Something Learned

...adding that she had something learned in her career The meaning of the phrase "something learned” isn’t immediately clear to me. Reading the source, I get what you’re going for, but the wording here should probably be clarified.

Nervousness at Araneta Coliseum concert

Looking back, Geronimo said that she was at first nervous to perform in an arena — The source says that she has “occasional attacks of nervousness,” but doesn’t seem to explicitly connect this to the concert. Geronimo says that the concept of performing at big venues is scary, but this quote doesn’t seem to explicitly support the claim either. Potentially WP:OR?

On the other hand

On the other hand, Nestor Torre Jr. of the Philippine Daily Inquirer described it as 'her transition from teen icon to young adult' — In what way is this "on the other hand?"

in Motion

In 2007, Geronimo headlined a concert titled in Motion. It was first staged at the Araneta Coliseum on July 14, followed by a US leg in August — Does this mean "concert tour"? It seems like it’s referring to more than one concert.

Dear Heart

Geronimo rejected a television remake of the film Dear Heart — "Rejected" how? This sentence could probably be clarified.

Acting breakthrough

The film titles in the first paragraph of "Acting breakthrough, Just Me and Music and Me" are given appended dates, but films outside of that section aren't. Is there a reason for this?

The Next One

She headlined The Next One at the Araneta Coliseum — Not immediately clear what this means. Based on the source, The Next One appears to be the name of a concert tour, but that isn't immediately clear here.

Music and Me

She later announced that she began production on her next studio album Music and Me — Fn 65 mentions an album called "Christmas Girl" but nothing about "Music and Me," from what I can see.

"Please Be Careful with My Heart"

In the album, collaborated with Christian Bautista for Jose Mari Chan and Regine Velasquez's 'Please Be Careful with My Heart' — What does this mean?

"Love Will Keep Us Together"

Geronimo recorded a cover of 'Love Will Keep Us Together' for the film — The source does say that she recorded a song called "Love Will Keep Us Together," but not that it is a cover of the Sedaka song, unless I’m missing something.

Matteo Guidicelli in Catch Me, I'm in Love

During the film's production, Geronimo met actor Matteo Guidicelli, who played a third wheel role in the film — So I understand that they eventually got married, but the relevance of this passage is not immediately apparent. Consider revising to something like "During the film's production, Geronimo met her future husband Matteo Guidicelli, who played a third wheel role in the film."

Fallin'

The film's soundtrack included a cover of Teri DeSario's 'Fallin' — Fn 76 does not say that Fallin' was originally by Teri DeSario but rather that it was part of the musical They're Playing Our Song by Marvin Hamlisch and Carole Bayer Sager. fn 81 also says this. Does the DeSario version predate the Hamlisch-Bayer version?

Kung Siya ang Mahal and Vehnee Saturno

...such as 'Sino Nga Ba Siya' and 'Kung Siya ang Mahal', both written by Saturno — I can see that fn 81 corroborates the claim that Saturno wrote "Sino Nga Ba Siya" but neither fn 79 nor 81 seem to corroborate that she wrote "Kung Siya ang Mahal." Am I missing it?

"Continuing maturity"

Asilo praised her musical style, while also highlighting Geronimo's continuing maturity — Awkward wording, likely due to WP:CLOP. Honestly, a quote is probably fine here, ex. "Asilo praised her musical style, while also highlighting Geronimo's 'growing maturity'."

One Heart Album of the Year

The album was named Album of the Year at the 2011 Awit Awards — Fn 82 specifically says that she won "Best-Selling Album of The Year," while "Panaginip" by Noel Cabangon won Album of the Year. Might need to adjust this claim, unless I'm misunderstanding something about the awards.

Final film appearance of 2011

Her final film appearance of 2011 was in Won't Last A Day Without You, portraying a radio DJ who gives advice to the lovesick people — While it tracks logically since the movie came out in December, fns 83 and 84 do not corroborate that Won't Last A Day Without You was her last role of 2011, unless I'm missing something?

Romantic involvement with Anderson

During production of the films, Geronimo was romantically involved with Anderson — Fn 85 seems to speculate that they were romantically involved at the time, but doesn't outright state it. Overall I don't think that the source is strong enough to effectively corroborate this claim. Also, even if it was true, the source seems to indicate that it began either with Catch Me…I’m in Love or after the release of Won't Last a Day without You (when they were "formally courting"). Might just be best to delete this one.

24/SG concert

It was then followed by a US leg and a re-staging the following year — Assuming this is referring to 24/SG, but it's far enough away from the original noun clause that the pronoun "it" is referring to that it's not immediately clear. Perhaps revise: "In 2013, the tour was extended to the United States and re-staged," or something like that. Also, should probably make it more clear that this was a concert tour and not an individual concert.

Wig/vulnerability

...[and] it didn't distract from her appeal — In the original source, this is referring to a wig. The way you've cut up this quote, it seems like it's referring to Geronimo's "vulnerability." Could constitute a WP:SYNTH issue.

Voice timing

Joseph Atilano of the Philippine Daily Inquirer wrote that Geronimo delivered her voice at the right timing... I don't see anything in fn 100 that talks about the "timing" of Geronimo's voice, just that it doesn't sound like it was "unnecessar[ily tweaked]in the recording studio. It's also unclear what is meant by "timing."

Yolanda benefit concert

It also served as a benefit concert for the victims of Typhoon Haiyan (Yolanda) — Fn 101 doesn't mention anything about this, nor do fns 109 or 110, from what I can see. It is mentioned in fn 229, which you use later, to might just want to incorporate that one here.

Reunited with Coco Martin

...reunited her with Coco Martin — This is the first time Martin appears in the article and the Philstar article in fn 111 calls it their "maiden... collaboration." Seems like this was their first time collaborating?

Just as delightful

...labeling her character as 'just as delightful' — Just as delightful as what? The quote should probably be extended.

Song of the same name

Its soundtrack also included a cover of the song of the same name — The same name as what? Consider revising to: "its soundtrack also included a cover of the song called 'Maybe This Time'."

"Kilometro"

...which was supported the lead single 'Kilometro', written by Thyro Alfaro and Yumi Lacsamana — Fn 115 supports the claim that "Kilometro" is a song on the album and that it was written by Thyro Alfaro and Yumi Lacsamana, but not that it was the album's lead single.

"Bulletproof"

Geronimo also worked with producer Adam Hurstfield for the tracks 'Bulletproof', 'Last Night of Our Lives' and the title track 'Perfectly Imperfect' Fns 115 and 116 support the claim that Hurstfield worked on the album on the songs 'Last Night of Our Lives' and 'Perfectly Imperfect', but there is nothing in either source that says that he worked on 'Bulletproof'.

Acting style

Oggs Cruz of Rappler credited Geronimo for adopting an acting style which he described as 'clearly heartbroken' — This seems like a misrepresentation of the quote to me. In the article, Cruz says that "both former lovers are clearly heartbroken, scarred by a breakup that the film has yet to explore." This doesn't necessarily seem like praise to me, or even a remark on Geronimo's acting at all. It just seems like a summary of an emotional state portrayed in the movie. I would look for a more representative quote, if you can find one.

Star award Felix Manalo

...where she won the Movie Original Theme Song of the Year at the 2016 Star Awards for Movies for her contribution to the soundtrack of the biographical film Felix Manalo (2015) — Fn 125 supports the claim that Geronimo worked on the Felix Manalo soundtrack, but not that she won an award for it. Fn 124 does though, so I think you just need to move it up.

"Tala"

Its lead single 'Tala'... — Again, fn 126 does not support the claim that this is the lead single.

Asilo on The Great Unknown

Asilo described the album as Geronimo's bold reinvention and adaptability as a singer — Unclear what this means. He described the album as Geronimo's adaptabiltiy as a singer? I think you mean that he praised her adaptability, but I also don't know if this quite accurately represents the sentiments of the article, which praises Geronimo's "evolving interpretive ability as a performer," but not necessarily her "adaptability."

"Finally Found Someone"

That same year, she was announced to star in a leading role in Finally Found Someone, which reunited her with John Lloyd Cruz — The appended fn (133) is about a movie called Dear Future Husband and makes no reference to Finally Found Someone. Is this an alternative title? If so, perhaps an explanatory footnote might be helpful.

Comparison to A Very Special Love

Asilo credited Geronimo's performance as an improvement to those in her trilogy of films with John Lloyd Cruz — The article does say that she is "lovelier than ever" and praises aspects of her performance, but doesn't explicitly make any comparison to the A Very Special Love trilogy from what I can see.

Oggs Cruz on Finally Found Someone

...while Oggs Cruz described it as one that rely on Geronimo's acting styles in the previous films — Unclear what this means. One what?

Vocal style

Reviews from CNN Philippines commended Geronimo's vocal anthemic quality and empowerment, and added that her vocal style is 'most polished and nuanced' — Misrepresents the source. Firstly, the source explicitly says that "production feels more low-key, less anthemic." Secondly, while it does say that "'Sandata' makes up for [her more low-key production] by finding Geronimo at her most polished and nuanced," this is not in reference to her vocal style, it's in reference to the single in general.

Highest-grossing concert

The concert was the highest-grossing concert tour by a Filipino artist — The source doesn't really support this. It says that "the April 14, 2018 show was claimed to be the highest-grossing local concert in history," but that doesn't necessarily imply that it was the highest-grossing concert tour by a Filipino artist. It's honestly a little unclear what it means, though I assume it means it was the highest-grossing concert in Manila?

Unforgettable

The Perci Intalan and Jun Robles Lana-directed Unforgettable (2019) is about an intellectually disabled woman who finds a stray dog and takes care of it, and brings it while traveling to Baguio to see her sick grandmother in a hospital — Should probably mention that Geronimo stars in it.

Other people

...she trained with other people with intellectual disabilities — Does she herself have an intellectual disability?

The public

Geronimo stated that she considered offering the public her original songs — Unclear what this means. Based on the source, it seems like she's just saying that she wants to make more original songs. Possible WP:CLOP.

"Dahaldin"

She paid homage to Velasquez by performing her song 'Dadalhin' during a co-headlining concert titled Unified — Fn 169 says that she performed the song, but does not explicitly say that it was an "homage" to Velasquez.

Childhood dream

When the two co-headlined a concert in July 2023, Geronimo stated that it was a childhood dream fulfilled — Doesn't seem to be supported by fn 185, which says that "according to Geronimo, the live collaboration had been a dream of hers for over a decade." With the concert taking place in 2023, Geronimo would have been 35, so a decade ago she would have been 25: not a child.

Tiësto and Calvin Harris influence

During production of Perfectly Imperfect, Geronimo's music takes influence from EDM artists such as Tiësto and Calvin Harris — Unsupported by fn 117, which mentions both artists but does not say that Geronimo was influenced by them. "This R&B-leaning mid-tempo track sizzles with some EDM and, while most local listeners might be hard put to dig the likes of Tiesto, Calvin Harris and others, they might give Geronimo a chance."

EDM influence

Later in her career, Geronimo ventured into 'catchy, upbeat modern pop [tracks]', primarily influenced by R&B and EDM — EDM is not mentioned in fn 127 or fn 150.

Song themes

She explored themes of friendship on 'Kaibigan Mo', and delved into love and relationship on 'Cuore' — "Kaibigan Mo is not mentioned in fn 115. Fn 178 discusses themes of love but not friendship in "Cuore."

Box Office Mojo

The Box Office Mojo citation (fn 247) leads to a redirect to IMDb Pro. In general, IMDb is not considered a reliable source per WP:IMDB.

Interesting read! I think that there is a lot to work on, though. Overall, I think that the writing could definitely be punched up. There are numerous sections throughout the article where the intended meaning of a sentence or a phrase is not apparent. There are also significant problems with sourcing. Many sources are misrepresented or don't align with the claims they're supposed to support in one way or another. There are also some problems with WP:CLOP. There are quite a few issues, so for now I do think I'm going to have to fail the review. Regardless, though, thanks for your work! You clearly put a lot into it and I hope you're able to resubmit once changes have been made. Spookyaki (talk) 00:14, 19 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.