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Request for Assistance with COI Edits: Improving the quality of references in the History section

[edit]

Hi there, I’d like to help improve the quality of this article.

As displayed on my User page, I have a COI and am currently employed by The Donkey Sanctuary – so will need to collaborate on this with a willing Wikipedian.

As a starting point, I’ve noticed that a lot of the ‘History’ section is currently lacking references.

I have collated sources to support currently unreferenced statements where possible.

With the earliest period of The Donkey Sanctuary’s history, it’s hard to get completely away from primary sources as Dr Svendsen's autobiographies are the best sources for this era.

I have, however, added in secondary sources where possible, including the Charity Commission website, a newspaper clipping, and the 1980 New Years Honour List as published in *The London Gazette*.

I’ve incorporated them into the existing text below. It’s my first time using wikitext, so please let me know if I have made any errors:

The Donkey Sanctuary was founded in 1969 by Elisabeth Svendsen.[1] It was registered as a charity in 1973.[2]

Svendsen was prompted to start the sanctuary following a visit to Exeter Market when she saw seven small donkeys crammed into a small pen. After she tried unsuccessfully to buy the donkey in the worst condition, she decided that instead of breeding donkeys she would try and save them.[3]

By 1973 Svendsen was caring for 38 donkeys. In June 1974, she received a phone call from a solicitor who was the Executor of the Estate of the late Miss Violet Philpin, who had been running the Helping Hand Animal Welfare League Donkey Sanctuary near Reading, Berkshire. The solicitor explained that Svendsen had been left a legacy of 204 donkeys.[4] At that time, advertisements were appearing regularly in UK publications appealing for financial support for Violet Philpin's Donkey Sanctuary, to the extent that the name Violet Philpin became very familiar in Britain with the care and welfare of donkeys.[5]

After the UK Charity Commission allowed the two charities to merge, the Donkey Sanctuary purchased Slade House Farm near Sidmouth in south Devon.[6] Since then more than 14,500 donkeys have passed through the Donkey Sanctuary's gates in the UK and Ireland. The charity operates in the UK, Ireland, and mainland Europe. It also conducts international operations in Africa and Asia. In 1980 Svendsen was made an MBE for her services to animal welfare.[7]

If the above is acceptable, then I will move to the other sections of the article.

I’ve noticed that a lot of information is now out of date, so I will be providing updates to the text as well as references.

I don’t have a time estimate for when these will be ready but will submit them here for discussion when I have them.

Thank you in advance for any help.

OB TDS (talk) 08:32, 9 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Hi, yes that looks basically fine to me. Just one minor point (which relates to the current article text rather than to your suggested edit)...
The text says she decided that instead of breeding donkeys she would try and save them, but there isn't any earlier reference to the idea of Svendsen breeding donkeys - so the idea of there being some kind of change of plan doesn't seem to work. My feeling is that either (a) there needs to be some mention earlier in the article of the fact that Svendsen had intended to breed donkeys, or (b) the whole idea of breeding donkeys isn't really relevant and can be dropped entirely from the text.
I don't really mind one way or the other, and I'm happy to leave it to your discretion whether it is an important part of the story, but I do think we would need to go for either (a) or (b) above, rather than with the current text.
Does that make sense as a suggestion?
Regards, Axad12 (talk) 11:57, 9 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]
Can I also suggest that the passage to the extent that the name Violet Philpin became very familiar in Britain with the care and welfare of donkeys would be improved if very familiar was replaced with associated. It's a minor change, but I think it is more correct to say "associated ... with" rather than "very familiar ... with". Axad12 (talk) 12:04, 9 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]
Some further copy editing suggestions:
Section: Europe
1) change also provides to “provides”
2) have been neglected. But others should read “have been neglected but others”
3) well-being should, I suspect, read “wellbeing”
4) In 2009 the winner was the town of Filey: probably out of date and best removed?
Section: Worldwide
5) administered over 300,000 treatments should say “administerS over 300,000 treatments”.
6) by poor harnessing or whipping: I'd suggest it would be better if this read “by whipping or poor harnessing”, to avoid any possible misinterpretation that “poor whipping” is intended (if you see what I mean).
7) in some areas, terrible wounds: I think the comma here is redundant and ought to be removed.
Section: International Donkey Week
8) I’d suggest expanding this section, if only with some basic details of the scope of activities. Also, presumably it occurs in the UK?
9) Also, it may be necessary to remove people come from far and wide as (while no doubt true) that may be a claim that will prove difficult to provide a supporting reference for.
Section: Educational Work
10) vet students change to “vetinary students”
Section: Elizabeth Svendsen Trust
11) to assist children with special needs lead a fuller life may be better if it read “to assist children with special needs TO lead a fuller life”
Section: Slade House Farm
12) Update visitor estimate figures.
Hopefully these notes are of assistance. Best wishes, Axad12 (talk) 13:23, 9 October 2024 (UTC)[reply]

References

  1. ^ Svendsen, Elisabeth (1981). Down among the donkeys. Pan Books Ltd. pp. 36–37. ISBN 0330263161.
  2. ^ "Charity Details: The Donkey Sanctuary". Charity Commission for England and Wales. Retrieved 2024-06-14.
  3. ^ Svendsen, Elisabeth (1981). Down among the donkeys. Pan Books Ltd. pp. 38–39. ISBN 0330263161.
  4. ^ Svendsen, Elisabeth (1993). For the love of donkeys. Whittet Books Ltd. p. 8. ISBN 187358010X.
  5. ^ Philpin, Violet (1973-12-17). "The Donkey Sanctuary". Evening Times. Retrieved 2024-06-18.
  6. ^ Svendsen, Elisabeth (1993). For the love of donkeys. Whittet Books Ltd. p. 8. ISBN 187358010X.
  7. ^ Svendsen, Elisabeth Doreen, Mrs. (1980-12-31). "M.B.E.: To be Ordinary Members of the Civil Division of the said Most Excellent Order". The London Gazette. Retrieved 2024-06-18.{{cite news}}: CS1 maint: multiple names: authors list (link)