Talk:Violeta Chamorro/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Jaguar (talk · contribs) 19:16, 29 October 2015 (UTC)[reply]

I'll finish this soon JAGUAR 19:16, 29 October 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Initial comments

"he was often jailed or in exile" - how about he was often jailed or exiled?

Done SusunW (talk) 19:50, 30 October 2015 (UTC)[reply]

SusunW But did the government exile him or he chose exile to escape persecution? Although it may be forceful, it is not the same the government ordering someone to leave the country in exile than choosing to go out of the country for whatever reason. Thinker78 (talk) 05:21, 11 October 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Thinker78 not sure why this is embedded in the GA review from 2015, but my answer would be that the proper discussion for Pedro's exile is in his biography. I agree that it is pertinent to his story. However, the "why" is not really necessary to her article other than as a motivator for her constant movement from 1957 through the 1970s. To her, whether it was voluntary or not, it still resulted in her dividing her time between her children and husband in different locations. SusunW (talk) 13:11, 11 October 2018 (UTC)[reply]

"however, when the Junta began moving" - I see that "junta" is uncapitalised throughout the article, should it be capitalised here?

I actually went the other way. Since the Junta of National Reconstruction is the actual name of it, I capitalized it throughout, like when one would be referring to the Democratic party as opposed to democracy in general. Advise if you disagree. SusunW (talk) 19:50, 30 October 2015 (UTC)[reply]

I would merge the final sentence of the lead into one of the paragraphs, as WP:LEAD recommends a maximum of four paragraphs for an article

Done SusunW (talk) 19:50, 30 October 2015 (UTC)[reply]

"Her family and was wealthy and conservative, and although she has often been claimed by reporters such as Richard Boudreaux of the The Los Angeles Times, Garrick Utley of NBC, Stephen Kinzer of The New York Times, Lee Hockstader of The Washington Post, and other papers to be part of the Nicaraguan aristocracy, in truth, her family had large landholdings and cattle and were more akin to the cattle barons of the western United States, than the "Nicaraguan Gloria Vanderbilt", she was sometimes styled as in the American press" - this is a very long sentence. I would try to split it at "... of the western United States" so it reads something like She was styled in the American press as the "Nicaraguan Gloria Vanderbilt" or something similar?

Split it at what appeared to be a more natural break ... "Her family and was wealthy and conservative, and although she has often been claimed by reporters such as Richard Boudreaux of the The Los Angeles Times, Garrick Utley of NBC, Stephen Kinzer of The New York Times, Lee Hockstader of The Washington Post, and other papers to be part of the Nicaraguan aristocracy, in truth, her family had large landholdings and cattle. They were more akin to the cattle barons of the western United States, than the "Nicaraguan Gloria Vanderbilt", she was sometimes styled as in the American press." SusunW (talk) 19:50, 30 October 2015 (UTC)[reply]

"In March, 1980," - no need for comma here

Done SusunW (talk) 19:50, 30 October 2015 (UTC)[reply]

"In addition, the CIA covertly paid close to $0.5 million" - why not $500,000?

I think I had that and somewhere along the way it got changed? Or maybe I said half a million. I'm fine with $500,000 (USD). SusunW (talk) 19:50, 30 October 2015 (UTC)[reply]

"UNO had been unable to agree on specifics, as its membership ranged from the far left to the far right, making their plan one of running against whatever the Sandinistas were for" - I don't know why these words are italicised if they aren't part of a quote?

Removed italics SusunW (talk) 19:50, 30 October 2015 (UTC)[reply]

"The aid cut-off, subsequent freeze, and Helms' demands were put forward" - I didn't understand the first half of the sentence. Should it read The aid was cut-off and Helms' demands were put forward? Unless I'm misunderstanding something

Done SusunW (talk) 19:50, 30 October 2015 (UTC)[reply]

"As noted previously, The US assisted Nicaragua" - de-capitalise "the"

Done SusunW (talk) 19:50, 30 October 2015 (UTC)[reply]

"In fact, during her presidential campaign" - sounds a bit informal. Could be cut

Done SusunW (talk) 19:50, 30 October 2015 (UTC)[reply]

References

No dead links

On hold

Excellent article! She sounded like a very influential person and almost like a Central American Nelson Mandela. I could only find some minor prose issues, so once all of the above are clarified then this should be good to go. JAGUAR 19:03, 30 October 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Jaguar Thank you for the review. I enjoyed working on her. Contentious part of both US and Nicaraguan history, but a very important part of building their peace. SusunW (talk) 19:55, 30 October 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you for addressing them! This looks like it's good to go now. Yeah, I guess there's not many people out there who helps end a war and bring peace to a whole country. She sounds very inspiring. Well done on all the work put into this one

JAGUAR 21:14, 30 October 2015 (UTC)[reply]

LGBT

I really think that the LGBT community part, that is currently in the peace part, suits better into the gender part. - Melilac (talk) 16:22, 28 March 2017 (UTC)[reply]

I agree, as you can see from the history, that was inserted in the peace section at a later time. I have moved it to the gender section. Feel free to make such moves yourself, as clearly your placement was more logical and provides better article flow. SusunW (talk) 15:59, 8 April 2017 (UTC)[reply]