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January 2014 updates

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I restored some of the changes and updates proposed by User:Cassie.reid. Others may need more work or discussion, though we should avoid the promotional tone of some of the proposals. --Hroðulf (or Hrothulf) (Talk) 22:08, 13 January 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Assistance with Wiltshire College page

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I have been trying to update the existing page for Wiltshire College, as much of the information is out of date by many years. Each time the information is removed or reverted back to an old version.

I have removed as much promotional language as I recognise from the text, and linked to official Wiltshire College webpages where appropriate as a reference, so cannot understand why it continues to be removed.

Please can someone advise - I am happy to upload the text onto here for you to look through to get a 'seal of approval'! — Preceding unsigned comment added by Cassie.reid (talkcontribs) 13:47, 15 January 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Your text is still there. You will find it, and the comments people made when they reverted it, with the 'View history' tab.
I can only speak for myself when I say that I found your edits too complex to review in one go, so I have pasted in the most obvious keepers so far.
I have now added and edited your paragraph about the proposed building at Chippenham. This should help with the image deletion discussion at Wikipedia:Files_for_deletion/2014_January_14#File:New_Chippenham_Campus.jpg. I noticed that you copied a sentence from the college website: an easy mistake to make that I was happy to correct. I am confused about the stage of the project: does it have full planning permission and full funding yet? This is the most recent article I can find: http://www.wiltshire.ac.uk/news/newsstory2.asp?news=4288 (14 Nov 2013)
One approach to contributing might be if you propose one paragraph at a time here in the talk page.
--Hroðulf (or Hrothulf) (Talk) 14:35, 15 January 2014 (UTC)[reply]

This might help. I copied the last version that User:Cassie.reid made, so that paragraphs can be reviewed one by one and incorporated, where appropriate, into the article. Let's discuss it below, and go to there to edit it --Hroðulf (or Hrothulf) (Talk) 12:07, 22 January 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Paragraphs for review and merge into the article

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discussion of jan 2014 redraft

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To make the above draft easier to discuss, I deleted the sections that were unchanged from the published article. I also deleted those sections that I already edited (for my attempt at balance and style) and incorporated into the published article. Those were the lede, the infobox, the Chippenham campus development proposals (and image), the Castle Combe campus, the alumni and the external links. Notice also that the map location co-ordinates are deleted, as are the non-free photos of the Salisbury and Trowbridge campuses.

Therefore what remains are User:Cassie.reid's undiscussed proposals. I hope that helps.

--Hroðulf (or Hrothulf) (Talk) 12:04, 22 January 2014 (UTC)[reply]