Template:Did you know nominations/Mihajlo Svilojević

The following discussion is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.

The result was: promoted by Allen3 ^talk 21:30, 13 September 2013 (UTC)

Mihajlo Svilojević

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... that epic poetry character Mihajlo Svilojević was mentioned in the poem written by Ivan Gundulić at the beginning of the 17th century?

Reviewed: Young Communist League of Poland

Created by Antidiskriminator (talk). Self nominated at 15:16, 10 September 2013 (UTC).

Article is new enough, long enough, and written with sources that look like scholarly works. Hook is definitely in the article. I'm only holding this up because the writing isn't fluid: it doesn't sound like something a native speaker would write. I understand that you're not a native speaker, Antidiskriminator, and I'm not pretending to punish you; it's simply that someone should help reword some of this before it makes it to the Main Page. I'll be happy to help if nobody else should come along. Nyttend (talk) 05:55, 12 September 2013 (UTC)

Thanks. Can you please check now and help if it is still necessary.--Antidiskriminator (talk) 08:11, 12 September 2013 (UTC)

I've made some small changes, and a few spots still need work. Please change them yourself if you find that easy to do, or please tell me what's meant and I'll be happy to reword them.

"territory of the Serbian Despotate and broke out on the border of the Kingdom" What do you mean by "broke out on": did they fight on the border, or were they able to invade past the border, or something else?Y
"Svilojevića"...found in the 17th century as inheritance of Petar Zrinski." I'm not clear what you mean by "found" (was it lost and then rediscovered in the 17th century?), and I also don't understand how it was Petar's inheritance. To me, when a song is someone's inheritance, that means that he inherited the copyright to a song previously owned by a now-dead person — clearly I understand that you're not meaning that here :-)

After Zrinski died somebody found the manuscript of the poem among his former possessions. Zrinski is not the author of the poem, he only "wrote it down".--Antidiskriminator (talk) 21:46, 12 September 2013 (UTC)

"In other poems recorded during 17th and 18th century at Dalmatian maritime" Do you mean "recorded during the 17th and 18th centuries on the Dalmatian coast", or do you mean something else?Y
You often say that someone "wrote down" a poem; in English that means that he took a pen and wrote the letters, while when someone's the author of something, we simply say "he wrote a poem". I'm not clear which you mean, but of course you should leave it as it is if you're meaning that these men physically wrote down their poems and songs.

Someone "wrote down" poetry which was initially only oral poetry. People who wrote it down are not authors. They just physically wrote down poems and songs they heard from other people.--Antidiskriminator (talk) 21:46, 12 September 2013 (UTC)

Please note that song and (most) poem titles should be in parentheses but not italics; italics are meant for larger works such as books and other works of comparable length.

I'm really sorry that all of this sounds like a lecture on speaking good English. I simply don't know how familiar you are with some of these English-language conventions, and accordingly I don't know if you already know most of these things. Nyttend (talk) 21:28, 12 September 2013 (UTC)

Thanks for your help. I am uncertain how to resolve "inheritance" issue. Are you able to correct it based on my explanation?--Antidiskriminator (talk) 21:53, 12 September 2013 (UTC)

Not having read (or previously known) about Serbian traditional poetry, I was unaware that this was coming out of an oral tradition; I was imagining a situation in which the poet had a scribe and told the scribe "Write down the following lines...". When you're recording oral poetry in writing for the first time, "wrote down" is entirely an appropriate phrase, so thank you for correcting my confusion. Meanwhile, your comments about inheritance explain the situation quite well; I now understand and will be able to fix things. Thanks! Nyttend (talk) 23:32, 12 September 2013 (UTC)

No further problems; this is ready to go. Nyttend (talk) 23:32, 12 September 2013 (UTC)