User:Angerxiety/Assume everyone is out to get you
 | This page is intended as humor. It is not, has never been, nor will ever be, a Wikipedia policy or guideline. Rather, it illustrates standards or conduct that are generally not accepted by the Wikipedia community. |
 | This is a humorous essay. It contains the advice or opinions of one or more Wikipedia contributors and is made to be humorous. This page is not one of Wikipedia's policies or guidelines, as it has not been thoroughly vetted by the community. Some essays represent widespread norms; others only represent minority viewpoints. This essay isn't meant to be taken seriously. |
 | This page in a nutshell: Assume everyone (especially Jimmy Wales) is against you, no matter what. |
Don't assume good faith, nor bad faith. Assume that everyone is out to rip your head out of your body. Don't trust anybody on Wikipedia, even the guy who owns Wikipedia. If they revert your edit, they have a grudge against you. If they expand your article, they want to make you feel inferior. If they correctly and politely warn you for being a little too aggressive against a newcomer, they are trying to ostracize you.
Assume that every edit, no matter how good it is, is made with contempt towards you, and you personally.