User:Itsnotme92
Welcome to my page I am currently a college running start student aspiring to get a business degree from a four year university. With this degree i hope to make great strides in starting my own company and building it to the top. My main passion right now is basketball and I play for my highschool team, we hope to do very well this year and possibly make it to state (Washington). Some activities I enjoy include hiking, hanging out with my friends, and playing tennis. I also very much enjoy messing with technology such as computers and phones, tinkering and finding new ways of doing things helps me to grow and further myself which is very enjoyable.
On wikipedia I look forward to producing good quality content for people to read and learn from as I have learned from others on the site. Some parts of the encyclopedia that I hope to indulge myself in are different musicians and artists. Music is a passion of mine and so being able to add to an artists page and research them would be very fun; most likely teaching me a lot about them in the process. Another area of the platform I look forward to using is the tool that takes you back through the history of changes people have made to different pages. I feel that this would be interesting as it would show me different ideas and what's truly important about various topics.
Thank you for visiting my page have a great day!
Article Review
[edit]I visited the Brian Scalabrine page on Wikipedia and found three aspects of it worth commenting on: the completeness and structure of the article, grammar mistakes, and how out of date parts are.
Completeness and Structure
[edit]Many of the sections in the article seem to be half done. When reading I find myself wanting more. Like in the case of Scalabrines career on the Italian team. The article only explains when and why he played in Italy. It misses areas of topic such as his stats, his role on the team, how the team did etc. Although there isn’t a huge amount of content, the content that is written can be a bit repetitive between sections. Such as in one section it talks about how he turned down a coaching job with the bulls and then decided to become an announcer, then in the very next section the fact is repeated. This is a big takeaway because at first, I thought there was a decent amount of content but then digging deeper I realized that it’s a lot of the same facts.
Grammar
[edit]The article has decent grammar throughout however there are sections that take away from the reliability due to grammar mistakes. Some examples of this are when the publishers write incomplete sentences of which could be connected via a comma to make the sentence flow.
Age
[edit]First of all the last time the this page was update was September 9th which isn’t all that long ago but they only made a small change. The last time a substantial addition was put on the page was last year when a single section was added to, and this was only a minimal amount. This means that the page needs to be definitely enlarged with more detail.
Summary
[edit]All in all I’d give this page a rating of “decent” as it does touch on Scalabrine’s main life accomplishments however I want to know more about him and what he has been doing in his lifetime as a professional basketball player. Also if some of the grammar could be revised as along with the new content it would create a much better and informational page.
This user is a student editor in Everett_Community_College/English_Composition_3750_(Fall). |