Bonjour, tout le monde.
Je m'appelle Sonny Jim.
J'adore le Wikipedia.
C'est le 5-11-2024.
Il est 15:20.
My Life in a Nutshell
[edit]My life is short and simple, and yet full of surprising turns and twists and other stuff like that (I need a more colorful vocabulary, mais non?)
I was born to a pack of rabid mutant wolverines in Norway one day while they were enjoying their evening meal.
Before they decided to eat me alive because I looked nothing like them, they decided that I would be helpful in helping them track fooid, and so I was raised like a wolverine for the first 4 years of my life.
When I was 5, an expedition into the mountains of Norway found my family pack, and, mistakenly thinking that I was being attacked, killed all of them.
I was devastated for about 4 minutes, until I realized that I was not a wolverine and was, in fact, human.
The expedition took me home, but realized that I did not speak Norwegian, and instead spoke flulent English, which the wolverenes were very fond of speaking since they were brought over from the US in the 1970s to control the population of Norwegian-speakers.
They decided that it would be for the best to send me to the United States for the rest of my life.
Back in the U-S-S-A
[edit]I took to being in the US very quickly, learning soon that my old values of companionship and love in my old wolverine pack no longer applied, and that it was a harsh reality of every man (or woman) for him- (or her-) self.
It was harsh for the first few months, walking from home to home in the cold New York streets after being dropped by the small dinghy that took me there.
But I finally found a family of tourists, Mr. and Mrs. Priapism, who decided to take me home with them to their small apartment in the newly founded country of North Dakota.
It was difficult adjusting to a new family, but I eventually learned to love my new parents, and their cat Bob (although Bob suffered a few injuries in the process).
My parents, however, began to get tired of my constant attacking of their cat, and so they sent me on my way at the age of 11 with no money and only the clothes on my back.
I walked to the capital of North Dakota, looking for work that they could allow an 11-year-old do, and, to my luck, the new allowed age for labor was 11 to allow for an increased workforce in the new country.
I got myself a job at a large software manufacturing company, because I had had experience with C++ and other languages programming in the past at my old home.
I earned a good hourly wage of $12.75 an hour, and after a few days of sleeping on the street, I managed to rent myself an apartment near the 28-story building where I worked.
My office on the 23rd floor had a wonderful view of the buildings around us, although it felt a little walled in because there were so many other buildings around it.
I got promoted several times, and by the time I was 16 I was actually offered the position of Vice President, of which I accepted because of the hourly pay of $110.25.
But after working in that position for two years, I decided that it was time for me to move on with my life and get out of my old filthy apartment.
So I decided to take a 3-year vacation from work to live in Paris, although in my agreement to the company I did have to work at least 12 hours a week.
Every day, I would watch the evening news from North Dakota, listening as I saw them gain more and more territories from the US, and finally conquering all of South Dakota, making the new contry named Dakota.
While I was there, I learned to speak the French language pretty well, although it was still second to English.
I loved to take weekend trips to the French countryside, or to the Alps, where I would ski my heart out.
But at last my vacation came to a close, and I returned to the United States.
When I returned, I decided that it was time for me to retire.
Because of my genius at using the FOREX market, I managed to scoop together a net worth of D$61 Million (that's US$87 Million).
It was enough money to settle down in the countryside of Dakota and live with my wife and two kids, who were later found to be serial murderers and are now serving time in the Dakota National Prison.
Today, I have started my own company, Acrylamide, that is in the Video Game buisness.
Acrylamide and their subsidiary, Priominis, program the crappiest gamees you have ever seen, using Macromedia Flash MX.
Acrylamide currently has a yearly profit margin of less than D$6 (US$8).
Wikipedia entered my life very recently, in fact yesterday (on 28-01-2006), which is why I created this page, because I wanted to be an author in Wikipedia SO BAD!
My first encounters with Wikipedia were when I was searching using Google.
I would sometimes get results that would say they were from Wikipedia, and I would check them out and they were very useful.
But I never noticed the fact that you could edit a page.
I noticed that when I got to Wiki using Valve's Steam.
I don't remember exactly how, but I remember clicking on something in Steam and getting Wikipedia for Half-Life 2 and Counter-Strike: Source.
That already makes it cool if it has articles about video games, and it's an encyclopedia.
I even liked it better than Encarta, and that's saying something!
I think that Wikipedia is a very useful tool for finding information about ANYTHING!
If you can conceive of its existance, it's on Wikipedia, and if it's not, then you can put it there!
Wikipedia should be publically traded.
My current level of Wikistress is:
- I I
The reason is that on my first day of using Wikipedia, two of my articles got deleted (I admit that one of them I expected to get deleted, but the other one was my opinion).
I suppose that I should save my personal opinion for this page.
Now there's an idea...
It jumped back up to -2 now that I added some userboxes, though. Those things are cool (I made up the last one, thank you very much).
As manager of Acarylamide, my job is to look after the video game market (after all, that's what we do: ratings).
Recently, I have played these ones.
This one, and my newest addition(s):
I'm going to see how many articles I can get deleted before I actually get one right.
Current Delete Count:
I I
Sonny Jim is not actually named Jim, because if he was, he would probably change it ASAP, or move to Canada and be François or something (not saying Jim's a bad name, but I don't like it).
I've got to learn to stop switching points of view. Anyway, I will not disclose any information about me personally (except that I am not named Jim). Most of it is made up fiction.
Check out these cool logos:
Acrylamide
Don't worry, they're not actual company logos, I just made 'em in Flash to go with Acrylamide and Priominis.
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