User talk:Hibrahim2110
| This user is a student editor in Soka_University_of_America/WRIT101-04_(Spring_2020) . |
Welcome!
[edit]Hello, Hibrahim2110, and welcome to Wikipedia! My name is Shalor and I work with Wiki Education; I help support students who are editing as part of a class assignment.
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If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to contact me on my talk page. Shalor (Wiki Ed) (talk) 13:32, 8 April 2020 (UTC)
General Suggestions
[edit]The lead could definitely use some more information to put the information into context and perspective for the reader. Given it’s a very broad topic, the reader would benefit from a brief background explaining how the author chooses to explore the topic and how he plans on discussing the various essential elements (proportionally) relevant to the discussion of the topic. The visual representation could also be improved by including more relevant images that portray not just the problem but projects that have been put in place to address the concerns as mentioned in the article. The author decided to use three countries as base examples to examine the issue but doesn't really tell readers why he decided to use those countries and this could lead readers to suspect some bias on the path of the author. Finally, though not pressing, the article could have had more reference articles and materials from the places and countries the author highlighted which would improve the authenticity of the information presented on those places and as a plus also be supportive of the movement of allowing natives to tell their own story. --Hibrahim2110 (talk) 03:57, 11 April 2020 (UTC)Hibrahim2110