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The following is an archived discussion of a featured article nomination. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the article's talk page or in Wikipedia talk:Featured article candidates. No further edits should be made to this page.

The article was not promoted by Ian Rose 15:40, 28 May 2014 [1].


Money in the Bank (2011)

[edit]
Nominator(s): starship.paint (talk | ctrb) 05:17, 1 April 2014 (UTC)[reply]

This article is about a professional wrestling event by WWE held in 2011. The Wrestling Observer Newsletter rated it Event of the Year, while its main event match between CM Punk and John Cena won Match of the Year. I submitted this article as an FAC in January, but there weren't enough comments. I then submitted for peer review, but there were no comments at all. Hopefully this will receive more attention this time around. starship.paint (talk | ctrb) 05:17, 1 April 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Comments from Eric Corbett

  • I'm afraid that this article is almost incomprehensible to me, but that's maybe not such a surprise as I'm not a wrestling fan. Nevertheless I do feel that the lead at least ought to be made more accessible. For instance, it twice mentions "ladder matches", without explaining what they are. Is there actual money in the briefcase the wrestlers are fighting over, or is it just a show? If there is money in the briefcase, how much is it?
  • Hi Eric Corbett, thanks for stopping by. There's an entire article which explains ladder matches, would it be a content fork to explain what a ladder match is?
  • Similarly, on your money question, there's actually no money in any briefcase. In the briefcase is a contract for a guaranteed future championship match. That is explained within Money in the Bank ladder match#Concept - again, would it be a content fork to explain within this article?
  • I have Wiki-linked both ladder matches and Money in the Bank ladder matches in the last sentence of the first paragraph of the lead. starship.paint "YES!" 07:18, 13 May 2014 (UTC)[reply]
  • "WWE held two Money in the Bank ladder matches for the Raw and SmackDown brands". I really have no idea what the relevance of "brands" is in this context.
It's explained right after that - "storyline divisions in which WWE assigned its employees to different programs" - as each wrestler belongs to one brand (Raw or SD) and usually appears on that brand's TV show (also called Raw or SD). starship.paint "YES!" 07:18, 13 May 2014 (UTC)[reply]
  • The lead contains the phrase "eponymous ladder match", but eponymous is a term applied to places or things named after people, not after inanimate objects such as ladders. Eric Corbett 15:57, 12 May 2014 (UTC)[reply]
Re-worded. starship.paint "YES!" 07:18, 13 May 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Comments

  • I corrected some of the mistakes like the over linking problem.
Thank you for your help, Abhinav0908! starship.paint "YES!" 07:24, 13 May 2014 (UTC)[reply]
  • I feel that a few claims are there that need referencing (eg- The 195000 buys claim)
  • Which claims? Most of the claims in the lead can be found within the body itself, with citations.
  • For 195,000, see the Reception section, citation [25] "WWE Reports 2011 Third Quarter Results" - it's on page 3 of the pdf. starship.paint "YES!" 07:24, 13 May 2014 (UTC)[reply]
No matter. You tried and I appreciate it! :) starship.paint "YES!" 07:25, 13 May 2014 (UTC)[reply]
Comments from Ceranthor
Lead
  • Was it presented by Skittles or by Wm. Wrigley Jr Company?
  • I believe it is Skittles. No reliable secondary source, but the primary source from WWE says Skittles presents Money In The Bank tickets | Allstate Arena, Chicago, IL | Jul 17, 2011 at 06:45pm | WWE.com
  • above the ring; which would guarantee the winner a match for the WWE Championship for Raw or the World Heavyweight Championship for SmackDown at any time of their choosing within the next year.[5] - I don't think the semicolon helps. Better to split this into two sentences.
  • Split.
  • The World Heavyweight Championship was also defended on the card - On the card? What does that mean?
  • Changed to "at the event".
Storylines
  • Punk instead labelled Cena as an "ass-kisser" while insulting WWE management (including chairman Vince McMahon and executive John Laurinaitis). - No need for the parentheses.
  • Ok.
Event
  • I haven't added anything to the article yet for this section, Ceranthor. Could you read my explanations and see if there's anything to be added.
  • Brie's face into the mat with her K2 maneuver - It's named here as K2, but the link doesn't mention K2. What's K2? Can you clarify?
  • Reference [4] (WrestleView) calls it a "leg drop/fameasser combo". Would you understand that? It means Kelly drops a leg on her opponent's head which goes face-first onto the mat.
  • Henry gained a two-count - Which is what?
  • One way to win a match is to get the referee to count to three while the opponent's shoulders are on the mat. If the referee only counts to two and not three, it's a two-count, the match continues.
  • and two running splashes for the pinfall victory. - I have no idea what running splashes are.
  • wrapping a chair around Show's ankle and crushing it by jumping on it from the second rope - How can he wrap a chair around someone's ankle? Is this a figure of speech?
  • It's a folding chair. The chair was folded closed around the leg.
  • to perform his signature RKO maneuver, - Which is?
  • Here's another official WWE video. The performer jumps into the air, grabs the opponent's head and forces the opponent to land face-first. Technical term: jumping cutter.
Reception
  • WWE announced that the attendance was 14,815 during the show. - I think attendance totaled would read better
  • "WWE announced that the event's attendance totalled 14,815 during the show." ?
General
  • I think the theme song should be mentioned somewhere in the actual prose of the article.
  • Some of the information in the lead does not appear in the article, ie. the skittles sponsorship and the event's location.
  • All mentioned in the new Background subsection.

More comments after these are resolved. ceranthor 14:37, 17 May 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Closing comment -- Sorry but after remaining open around six weeks this nom appears to have stalled so I'll be archiving it shortly. Cheers, Ian Rose (talk) 14:22, 28 May 2014 (UTC)[reply]

The above discussion is preserved as an archive. Please do not modify it. No further edits should be made to this page.
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