Wikipedia:Peer review/1920 Xalapa earthquake/archive1

1920 Xalapa earthquake

I've listed this article for peer review because I want to bring it to FA status. Welcoming contributors wanting to help me improve this article.

Thanks, Dora the Axe-plorer (explore) 15:19, 1 November 2022 (UTC)

Hi @Ceranthor & @Mikenorton, I understand Sam reached out to you or vice versa while they prep their article for FA review. For the next three weeks, I'm on a break from work so I can devote some time on Wikipedia. I kindly seek your experties and suggestions on improving this before I thank this to FA review. Warm regards. Dora the Axe-plorer (explore) 00:29, 14 December 2022 (UTC)

@Dora the Axe-plorer: Thanks for the ping. happy to help. Will try to get to it next few days. ceranthor 01:10, 14 December 2022 (UTC)

I shall ping @Dawnseeker2000 to let them know as well. Dora the Axe-plorer (explore) 14:35, 16 December 2022 (UTC)

Comments from Ceranthor

Lead

• "Mudflows and landslides triggered by the shock destroyed buildings in rural towns across Veracruz and Puebla," - I'd add "states of" before Veracruz
• "Its aftershocks were studied by scientists to help determine its seismological characteristics." - while it's obvious you mean the earthquake, using "Its" leaves it possible you're talking about a number of things including "civil society groups, civilians, and the Catholic Church" from the prior sentence haha. Would change to "The earthquake's"

Background

• "to end dictatorship." - whose dictatorship? otherwise, super vague
• "Carranza's intention for Ignacio Bonillas to be his successor, a political nobody in the revolution," - tone is informal for Wikipedia; rephrase
• "Carranza was later assassinated during his escape to Veracruz." - when?
• "Due to the instability of Mexico at the time, the earthquake and its effects were rarely mentioned by government officials.[4]" - rarely mentioned where? Or do you mean they were not concerned about it? Those are different things

Tectonics

• Link tectonic plate to Plate tectonics
• "Oceanic lithosphere off the Pacific coast representing the Cocos and Rivera plates subduct" - noun-verb disagreement, should be subducts
• "This subduction process creates earthquakes and volcanic activity in Mexico.[6]" - perhaps a little bit more detail is needed here
• Link Deformation (engineering) to deformation
• Second paragraph is a bit technical for the lay reader, may want to explain some of the terms or add links to help
• "Shallow crustal earthquakes in the TMVB have been historically recorded for 450 years." - "historically" is redundant
• "These earthquakes, although infrequent, are damaging in central Mexico" - avoid passive voice, rephrase
• "The only historically damaging crustal earthquake to Xalapa occurred in 1546." - what's the distinction? Unclear to me
• "Seismicity in the area is low—the only other damaging earthquake in the instrumental period was a 6.9 Mw  earthquake in 1912.[10]" - when is the instrumental period though?

Earthquake

• Really opposed to this header for an article on an earthquake - what about "Geology?"
• "Normal faulting earthquakes are consistent others in the volcanic belt" - not sure what's missing here but this sentence doesn't make sense
• Lots of passive voice; try to replace with more active voice where feasible

Damage and casualties

• "Seismicity in Veracruz is moderate compared to its Pacific coast." its being Mexico? Need to restate that if so, unclear.
• You should always provide the description for Mercalli scale in parentheses (in words)
• "Huitzilapa River and tributaries–between Chilchotla and Patlanalán.[28]" - what does the dash do here? Unnecessary I think.
• "The mudflows traveled down the Huitzilapa and Pescado rivers, destroying many towns in the process and carrying human victims along.[29]" - odd phrasing; what about "destroying [...] towns and sweeping up humans in the process?"
• "At least 419 of the total deaths" - total is redundant, also passive voice; change to "Mudslides caused at least 419 deaths"
• "Despite Patlanalá having the highest number of deaths (239), there were only 10 reported injured." - passive voice
• "Heavy destruction was attributed to the type of buildings—most were constructed with heavy stone, brick, and lime." - not the type then, but the materials used to build them? Different things.
• "At Barranca Grande, more than half its population died" - "In" not "at", "the" not "its"

Aftermath

• "Newspapers frequently misinformed the public about the aftermath with exaggerated reports of destruction" - how did they do it "frequently?" I'd cut that adverb
• "Reports later changed to volcanic activity occurring on Pico de Orizaba and Cofre de Perote which are considered inaccurate and created to drive sensationalism.[29" - passive voice
• "Geological Institute of Mexico.[36][20]" - refs should be in ascending order
• First paragraph has a lot of verbiage and could be significantly pared down
• "conveyed through officials from major towns" - "through" or "by?"
• "The board consisted of government authorities and civilians" - board of what?
• Any inflation adjustments for the dollar amounts?
• "donated $4,078 for survivors.[40]" - to, not for

Seismic hazard

• Why seismic hazard? Not future hazard?
• "A seismic gap is defined as a section of an active fault known to produce earthquakes but has not produced any for an unusually long period.[46] " - this is very choppy within the paragraph as is. Would integrate it better or convert to a footnote.
• " it was classified as a non-hazardous region" - by whom?

Initial prose comments. More comments on sources and images to come. ceranthor 18:54, 16 December 2022 (UTC)

I'll need to look at Flores et al. 2019 regarding the inflation adjustments. They provided citations for their money figures but these sources are published in various dates. I'm unable to access those so I won't have a clue if they were adjusted for inflation or were 1920 figures. The earliest bibliography comes from 1920 so I'm interpreting these are 1920 figures. Perhaps someone with access to them will be able to look into it. Dora the Axe-plorer (explore) 01:12, 17 December 2022 (UTC)

@Dora the Axe-plorer: It has been a month since the last comment. Are you ready for more comments, or is this ready to be closed? Z1720 (talk) 02:07, 18 January 2023 (UTC)

@Z1720 Hi, I'm expecting more comments. Been very busy lately so I may take longer to respond. Dora the Axe-plorer (explore) 02:28, 18 January 2023 (UTC)

Will try to post more comments this weekend! ceranthor 17:22, 20 January 2023 (UTC)

More comments

• "Earthquakes and tsunamis are generated on the subduction zone when strain that has accumulated at the interface between the subducting and overriding plates is overcome" - overcome by what? Need to clarify
• " Flat slab subduction occurs for 250 km (160 mi).[10]" - from where?
• "Seismicity in the area is low" - infrequent is better than low here
• "Seismicity in the area is low—the largest earthquake since 1964 was a mb  5.1 shock" - formatting for Mb?
• "east-west striking" - make sure using endash vs hyphen where appropriate
• "most were constructed with heavy stone, brick, and lime. " - elsewhere not using serial comma, needs to be consistent!
• " In Barranca Grande, more than half the population died." - does the source specify a number?

This is looking much improved. Still needs some polishing, but much closer to being ready for FAC! ceranthor 21:56, 22 January 2023 (UTC)

@Ceranthor The issues have been addressed. Thanks. Dora the Axe-plorer (explore) 00:46, 24 January 2023 (UTC)

Comments from Morogris

The 1922 field report is a great source, but why are we not using the links provided in that bulletin? See here, here, here, here, and even some cools pics here. I'm happy to help translate. Details on what happened, as captured in 1922, should be mentioned in the article. I see we cited some pages but it is not clear from what report within the bulletin.

I was also wondering if we could reach out to a Mexico City-based editor to maybe help us retrieve the print archives from that era? Xalapa's two main newspapers weren't around when the earthquake broke out, but I'm sure Mexico City newspapers El Universal, Excelsior, etc. covered the story. Unfortunately their online archives do not go that far in the past. Just a thought. Morogris (✉ • ✎) 05:43, 23 February 2023 (UTC)

@Morogris Your effort to translate would be appreciated! Please do. I'm not fluent in Spanish hence couldn't use that source to its full potential even though I wish I to. Dora the Axe-plorer (explore) 08:59, 23 February 2023 (UTC)

Query from Z1720

@Dora the Axe-plorer: It has been a month since the last comment. Is this ready to be closed? Z1720 (talk) 17:55, 31 March 2023 (UTC)

@Z1720 Hi, yes I don't think there'll be further comments for the review. It can close. Dora the Axe-plorer (explore) 13:06, 3 April 2023 (UTC)