Wikipedia:Peer review/Metroid Prime 3: Corruption/archive1
This peer review discussion has been closed.
I am looking for any kinds of suggestions and advice to help get this article to GA status, or improve its overall quality.
Thanks, ShadowJester07 ►Talk 23:19, 22 March 2008 (UTC)
- Only looked briefly. The plot needs sourcing. Often IGN/GameSpot have game guides for this, or you can use a GameFAQs walkthrough to get game dialogue (if you don't have the game) and source based on this. Might do a full review later - leave me a note on my talk if you'd like me to. dihydrogen monoxide (H2O) 10:28, 25 March 2008 (UTC)
dihydrogen monoxide
[edit]As requested. First of all, I looked briefly at a few of these but couldn't find any dialogue. If you check each of them, I'm sure you'll find something eventually!
- "is a video game" - what vg genre? Infobox says First-person action-adventure - mention that here too
- "Unlike its predecessors, Metroid Prime 3: Corruption features a control system based on the Wii Remote and Nunchuk." - that's because the others weren't on Wii. Mention controller, but don't make the comparison
- Wow. Graphics look good. (No, nothing actionable here!)
- Some reviewers (especially around FAC, which this could aim for) will want to see a ref at the end of every paragraph. 1st in gameplay, for instance, doesn't have one
- "other new gameplay features
as well" - "and can be sent to friends, and can only be sent within the Wii system, as there are no ways to transfer the pictures to a computer." (eek!...sorry :) --> "and can be sent to friends via the Wii system" (I think that says everything)
- "during their ongoing with the" - missing a word?
- "when the game is complete." - is --> was
- Second paragraph of the Development section needs citations for the voice actors
- "noted about Corruption compared to the rest of the franchise that players have "never played it this way before"" - I'm not sure how to reword this because I'm not sure what it's saying...but yeah, it's quite choppy
- "Declared" is used a fair bit in the last Development paragraph...can you use some other words too
- I generally mention Game Rankings/Metacritic scores first in reception, but others don't. Something to think about...
- I don't see a reference for the Nintendo Power review?
- Or X-Play?
- Also, these refs should appear in the review scores box
dihydrogen monoxide (H2O) 00:02, 30 March 2008 (UTC)
Comments from The Rambling Man (talk · contribs)
[edit]Some comments on an already good article...
- "Reception to Metroid Prime " - "reception of...?"
- Avoid squashing text between, say, images and infoboxes.
- "3D" - "three dimensional"...
- "Samus Aran " - make it clear this is the lead character.
- Link Game Boy Advance
- "(For example, the Nova Beam retains the properties of the Power and Plasma Beams.) " flow into previous sentence and remove parentheses.
- Samus's or Samus' - (I prefer the latter) but whatever you choose, be consistent.
- Link bounty hunter on its first use rather than its second.
- Ridley links to a disambiguation page.
- " Metroid Prime 2: Echoes" is linked twice in Development section, not needed.
- Keep citations in numerical order, you have a [24][1] here.
- What's PALGN? It isn't linked or cited...
- IGN overlinked in the Reception section.
- "As of December 31, 2007" - any chance of a more recent update?
- You got one dead link when I checked with this.
That should help it on its way to GA. Good luck! The Rambling Man (talk) 08:07, 26 March 2008 (UTC)
Comments from Judgesurreal777 (talk · contribs)
[edit]- Make sure all images have very specific rationales, such as exactly what they demonstrate and why they are necessary.
- Add a sentence about development of the game to the lead to bulk it up.
- Reference the first paragraph of the gameplay section
- Reference the characters and plot section
- Make the development and reception section flow more, now they are a bunch of disconnected sections, they should be made into flowing paragraphs.
- Copyedit, and you should be all set! Hope that helps