Talk:1986 Pacific hurricane season/GA3
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Reviewer: TropicalAnalystwx13 (talk · contribs) 23:34, 10 October 2012 (UTC)
It has been a while since I've reviewed an article, so I'm taking this one.
- The opening sentence in the lede is extremely boring. Were there any interesting statistics or records set in the season to make it less bland?
- Nah, typical 1980's EPAC season. YE Pacific Hurricane 03:47, 11 October 2012 (UTC)
- But "moderately active" has no comparison, so the sentence means nothing. --♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 17:18, 22 November 2012 (UTC)
- Well, this season was nothing. What do you suggest? YE Pacific Hurricane 00:03, 23 November 2012 (UTC)
- But "moderately active" has no comparison, so the sentence means nothing. --♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 17:18, 22 November 2012 (UTC)
- Nah, typical 1980's EPAC season. YE Pacific Hurricane 03:47, 11 October 2012 (UTC)
- Why the "As of 2012..." in the second sentence?
- Because that's the start date of a modern PHS. YE Pacific Hurricane 03:47, 11 October 2012 (UTC)
- Can you find out when the season began under the EPHC tenure? --♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 17:18, 22 November 2012 (UTC)
- Because that's the start date of a modern PHS. YE Pacific Hurricane 03:47, 11 October 2012 (UTC)
- Instead of saying "almost all" replace it with "most".
- "Several storms this year affect land." – The "this year" makes it sound more current. I'd revise to say, "Several of the tropical cyclones that developed during the season affected land." Also, instead of "For example", I'd list the month of when Estelle hit Mexico: "In [Month]..."
- Decline your suggestion, but fixed "this year". YE Pacific Hurricane 03:50, 11 October 2012 (UTC)
- I disagree, TA's suggestion is a much more natural way to start the paragraph. --♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 17:18, 22 November 2012 (UTC)
- There were more than several tropical cyclones in 1986, so theorefore, it is factually inaccurate. YE Pacific Hurricane 00:03, 23 November 2012 (UTC)
- I disagree, TA's suggestion is a much more natural way to start the paragraph. --♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 17:18, 22 November 2012 (UTC)
- Decline your suggestion, but fixed "this year". YE Pacific Hurricane 03:50, 11 October 2012 (UTC)
- "one short of the record set in 1982, which had 26 depressions." – Remove the original research.
- Not OR, it is scoured. YE Pacific Hurricane 03:47, 11 October 2012 (UTC)
- Why not mention this record in the lede? --♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 17:18, 22 November 2012 (UTC)
- Too trival IMO because this applies the only half the basin. YE Pacific Hurricane 00:03, 23 November 2012 (UTC)
- Not OR, it is scoured. YE Pacific Hurricane 03:47, 11 October 2012 (UTC)
- "Hurricane Hunters also flew into three storms, Newton, Roslyn, and Estelle." – Replace the comma with a colon.
- Done. YE Pacific Hurricane 03:47, 11 October 2012 (UTC)
- He said colon, not semicolon. --♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 17:18, 22 November 2012 (UTC)
- Done. YE Pacific Hurricane 03:47, 11 October 2012 (UTC)
- " Another storm, Hurricane Paine was described as one of the worst floods in Oklahoma history." – Add a comma after the storm's name.
- " In addition, Hurricane Estelle came close enough to Hawaii to require a hurricane watch." – I would reword to read, "In addition, Hurricane Estelle passed within such close range of the island of Hawaii that a hurricane watch was eventually required"...or something like that.
- No, that makes it much worse. YE Pacific Hurricane 03:47, 11 October 2012 (UTC)
- "The first, Tropical Depression Seven began as a large area of thunderstorms near Hurricane Estelle on July 17." – Same as above...add a comma after the depression's number.
More to come later. TropicalAnalystwx13 (talk) 23:34, 10 October 2012 (UTC)
- I am formally withdrawing this GAN. YE Pacific Hurricane 06:11, 22 November 2012 (UTC)
- I am going to pass this review to Hurricanehink for completion. TropicalAnalystwx13 (talk) 16:17, 22 November 2012 (UTC)
- He's already reviewed it the second time around and why did you remove my comment? YE Pacific Hurricane 17:12, 22 November 2012 (UTC)
- I'm allowed to review more than once. And you shouldn't withdraw the GAN and then put up another GAN, without this failing. I'm reviewing this now. --♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 17:18, 22 November 2012 (UTC)
- Why not? YE Pacific Hurricane 00:03, 23 November 2012 (UTC)
- I'm allowed to review more than once. And you shouldn't withdraw the GAN and then put up another GAN, without this failing. I'm reviewing this now. --♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 17:18, 22 November 2012 (UTC)
- He's already reviewed it the second time around and why did you remove my comment? YE Pacific Hurricane 17:12, 22 November 2012 (UTC)
- Why don't you say how many hurricanes formed in the first paragraph of the lede? Saying "17 tropical storms and hurricanes" is unusual. --♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 17:18, 22 November 2012 (UTC)
- You should probably mention in the lede that Roslyn was the strongest storm.
- Can any of the season summary be put into the lede? Namely that first paragraph. You're allowed to put some material in the lede, if it summarizes the whole article and it's sourced.
- Most of the SS is a bit too indepth to go in the lead. YE Pacific Hurricane 00:03, 23 November 2012 (UTC)
- Also, the advisory time stuff is too trivial to go in the lead, and if the Eastern Pacific Hurricane Center article ever got expanded, it would be removed IMO. YE Pacific Hurricane 22:46, 27 January 2013 (UTC)
- Most of the SS is a bit too indepth to go in the lead. YE Pacific Hurricane 00:03, 23 November 2012 (UTC)
- The tropical depression section in the summary should probably be under a ===Tropical depressions=== at the bottom of the "storms" section. Also, why does TD 2E have a section but none of the others do?
- Same reason why some TD's have a section in the 2012 Pacific typhoon season and others don't. Therefore, a ===Tropical depressions=== section would not be accurate. YE Pacific Hurricane 00:03, 23 November 2012 (UTC)
- "Activity in the Eastern Pacific Hurricane Center's (EPHC) area of responsibility was above average" - again, compared to what?
- Average. YE Pacific Hurricane 00:03, 23 November 2012 (UTC)
- Added a not of average in the lead. YE Pacific Hurricane 22:46, 27 January 2013 (UTC)
- Average. YE Pacific Hurricane 00:03, 23 November 2012 (UTC)
- "There were 25 tropical depressions, one short of the record set in 1982, which had 26 depressions" - remove the second "depressions"
- "The season began with the formation of Hurricane Agatha on May 22 and the dissipation of Tropical Depression Twenty Five-E on October 25" - you realize that means that the season began on May 22 and October 25, which implies two separate beginnings?
- " it was six days longer than the long term average" - can you rewrite to avoid "longer/long"?
- I can, but is that the best option? No, the best is removed the words "long term":P YE Pacific Hurricane 00:03, 23 November 2012 (UTC)
- "at a regular base 0000, 0600, 1200, 1800 UTC" - what do you mean "regular base"?
- Removed that part. YE Pacific Hurricane 00:03, 23 November 2012 (UTC)
- "A normal number of major hurricanes was also reported" - how many were there?
- "During the first two months of the hurricane season" - does that mean from May 15 to July 15?
- " Five storms formed in August, though only two of them impacted any land." - why the "though"? That implies something semi-contradictory, but I don't see what.
- 2 out of 5 is less than half, which while by ATL folks (who are most likely reading this article) is unusual. YE Pacific Hurricane 00:03, 23 November 2012 (UTC)
- " $2 million (1986 US$; $4.24 million 2012 USD)." - why the inflation, and why the "US$"? You didn't mention it in a previous damage total.
- "Tropical Depression Eight began over 81 °F (27 °C) water" - why do you mention the water? What is the significance?
- Removed. YE Pacific Hurricane 00:03, 23 November 2012 (UTC)
- "on 1000 UTC July 27" - you should use "on" for a specific UTC time. "at" works fine.
- I do use "on". YE Pacific Hurricane 00:03, 23 November 2012 (UTC)
- "continued to move west at velocities as high" - why do you mention (and link) "velocity" here?
- I think given that it was moving at a very fast pace, it's speed is important. Velocity is not that common of a term. YE Pacific Hurricane 00:03, 23 November 2012 (UTC)
- "It is likely that the depression was formed from the remnants of a Tropical Depression Eight-E that had dissipated a few days earlier well to the east of 140 °W." - remove the "was" and "had"
- "It passed well south of the Hawaiian Islands on July 28 with no noticeable effects on the island's weather" - you need to fix the noun agreement. "Hawaiian Islands" are plural, but "island's" is not.
- Removed. YE Pacific Hurricane 00:03, 23 November 2012 (UTC)
- "On July 29 at 0000 UTC, it had dissipated to the southwest of the Hawaiian Islands and the final advisory was issued." - remove "had", and either switch to dissipation, or mention somewhere that CPHC did advisories, since otherwise it's unclear who made the advisories.
- "An area of disturbed weather developed a circulation on August 12 and was respectively upgraded upgraded into Tropical Depression Twelve nearly 700 mi (1,100 km) south of the Baja California Peninsula." - please simply. Just say "Tropical Depression Twelve developed from an area of disturbed weather on August 12, about 700 mi (1,100 km) south of the Baja California Peninsula."
- No, but I did remove a word. YE Pacific Hurricane 22:46, 27 January 2013 (UTC)
- "north-west" - why the dash?
- It should not be in there anymore. YE Pacific Hurricane 22:46, 27 January 2013 (UTC)
- "near 22 °N 110 °W " - why the exact coordinates?
- Why not? YE Pacific Hurricane 22:46, 27 January 2013 (UTC)
- "Peak maximum sustained winds were estimated at 35 mph (56 km/h)" - why the lack of rounding?
- "Tropical Depression Seventeen formed on September 8 30 km (19 mi) east of Socorro Island " - the 8 and 30 next to each other is weird, and please round.
- "from a westward-moving tropical disturbance in the ITCZ." - link and explain what ITCZ is here, not in Blas's section. (unless you move the TD's to the bottom of the storm summary)
- "However the depression lasted a short time, only six hours, when it dissipated, likely due to the close distance between it and Tropical Storm Madeline" - simply
- All around, please make sure units are properly rounded.
- Should be better now. YE Pacific Hurricane 22:46, 27 January 2013 (UTC)
- " the circulation began to come together" - can you make that little more encyclopediac?
- "Shortly thereafter, the cyclone made an abrupt change in direction, turning towards the north." - you should have mentioned beforehand that the system was moving to the southeast.
- Why did Agatha change directions twice?
- " but regained tropical storm strength on May 28 and again on May 29" - according to BT, Agatha only regained TS status once.
- I'm trusting myself here and that HURDAT is wrong. YE Pacific Hurricane 22:46, 27 January 2013 (UTC)
- "Rainfall spread around both the Mexican coasts" - kinda weird, maybe clarify and say Atlantic and Pacific coasts?
- "Xicotepec de Juarez" - where is this?
- Does not have an article. YE Pacific Hurricane 00:03, 23 November 2012 (UTC)
- "The disturbance became close to being stationary" - poorly written. Was it stationary or not?
- Re-worked. YE Pacific Hurricane 22:46, 27 January 2013 (UTC)
- Don't mention so much rainfall with TD 2E. Also, any impact from it? For that matter, any impact for Agatha?
- See the 2nd GAN. YE Pacific Hurricane 00:03, 23 November 2012 (UTC)
- "The depression intensified into Tropical Storm Blas the next dayt" - watch out for typos
- Should be okay now. YE Pacific Hurricane 22:46, 27 January 2013 (UTC)
- "becoming into the third tropical depression of the 1986 season" - remove "into"
- Watch for overlinking. " Gulf of Tehuantepec", "Socorro Island", "circulation" among others are linked too many times.
- "Winds reached 40 mph (65 km/h), enough to the system into Tropical Storm Celia on June 26." - missing word
- "Hurricane Celia moved into much cooler water, weakening the storm rapidly" - weird writing
More later. --♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 17:18, 22 November 2012 (UTC)
- Thanks for the review, but as I said, this GAN is closed now (withdrawing). YE Pacific Hurricane 17:26, 22 November 2012 (UTC)