Talk:Lorraine Twohill
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Rewrite of Early life
[edit] | An impartial editor has reviewed the proposed edit(s) and asked the editor with a conflict of interest to go ahead and make the suggested changes. |
Hi! Alana here, representing Google and planning to submit some requests related to the company here on Wikipedia. I am familiar enough with Wikipedia's conflict of interest rules to know that I should let others review my suggestions and not edit pages on my own. Thanks in advance to editors helping with the review process.
I'd like to start with the Lorraine Twohill article, which is underdeveloped. For my first request, I'd like to propose replacement text for the "Early life" section, which does not have any sources, isn't specific to her early life, and has a "when?" and a "citation needed" tag. Here's a copy of the text:
- Lorraine Twohill is originally from Ireland. She attended Dublin City University and graduated with a joint honors degree in International Marketing and Languages. She currently[when?] lives in Palo Alto, California.[citation needed]
I suggest replacing with the following, which is more complete and based on news sources:
- Twohill was born in Carlow, Ireland.[1][2] Both of her parents were teachers,[3] and her first job was stocking shelves at a local grocery store.[4] Twohill earned a degree in international marketing and languages from Dublin City University in 1992.[5][6] She also studied abroad in Spain for a year.[4]
References
- ^ Hall, Emma (7 August 2006). "Lorraine Twohill, 35". Ad Age. Crain Communications.
- ^ O'Connell, Jennifer (10 October 2014). "Silicon 50 event celebrates most influential Irish people in the valley". The Irish Times. ISSN 0791-5144.
- ^ Carey, Brian; Daly, Linda (March 17, 2024). "Doyens of the Irish diaspora in the world of business". The Times.
- ^ a b Mickle, Tripp (June 12, 2021). "Where Google's Advertising Chief Searches for Insight". The Wall Street Journal.
- ^ Bacon, Jonathan (26 November 2014). "Profile: Lorraine Twohill, Google". Marketing Week.
- ^ Hunt, Joanne (18 May 2012). "There's more to a doodle when working for Google". The Irish Times.
Thanks for taking a look. Since the text also covers her educational background, I suggest changing the section name from "Early life" to "Early life and education". You can see how this section fits within this draft, which shows additional text I hope to have reviewed. If you have any questions, just let me know, thanks! GoogleAB (talk) 20:29, 24 October 2024 (UTC)
- Hi, many thanks for your request above. I agree that the text you have suggested represents an improvement on the current article text. The sourcing is also obviously first class.
- My only concern is in relation to the comment
her first job was stocking shelves at a local grocery store
. My thoughts there are essentially as follows: - 1) The information is non-encyclopaedic and ultimately of no real relevance.
- 2) Pretty much everybody did work of that sort (or comparable) when young.
- 3) I think there would be legitimate objections made that inclusion of that comment might be an attempt to install a narrative rather than being a purely factual inclusion.
- So, with that exception I am happy for you to go ahead and implement the changes requested above. I should add, however, that I have not reviewed the longer draft that you link to (no doubt you will submit further requests in relation to that material in due course).
- Hopefully the above notes are of assistance. Happy to discuss further if need be.
- Kind regards, Axad12 (talk) 05:53, 25 October 2024 (UTC)
| An impartial editor has reviewed the proposed edit(s) and asked the editor with a conflict of interest to go ahead and make the suggested changes. |
- User:Axad12, thanks for reviewing this request and for providing helpful feedback. I appreciate the permission to update the article myself, but I would prefer for someone else to do so given my conflict of interest. If you or someone else could update the section, I'd appreciate your help. Thanks! GoogleAB (talk) 17:21, 28 October 2024 (UTC)
- I am aware that you have a conflict of interest. I have nonetheless approved you to go ahead and make the changes. Axad12 (talk) 18:12, 28 October 2024 (UTC)
- Just a brief note to say that I find your draft for the rest of the article to be exceptionally promotional and I'm surprised to see that you've found no space to include the material in the current Controversy section. Please note that there is no place for promotion on Wikipedia, and especially no place for Hagiography (which is how your draft currently reads). Axad12 (talk) 18:27, 28 October 2024 (UTC)
Career (before Google)
[edit] | The user below has a request that an edit be made to Lorraine Twohill. That user has an actual or apparent conflict of interest. The requested edits backlog is very low. There are currently 42 requests waiting for review. Please read the instructions for the parameters used by this template for accepting and declining them, and review the request below and make the edit if it is well sourced, neutral, and follows other Wikipedia guidelines and policies. |
While I wait to see if an editor will update the article on my behalf based on the above request, I would like to propose some changes to the first part of the "Career" section, specifically this text:
- After graduation, Twohill worked as a brand manager for Burns Philp from 1992 to 1995.[1] In 2000, she became the head of marketing at Dreamticket.com in London,[2] and in 2001 she joined the European travel site Opodo also in the same role.[3]
References
- ^ "There's more to a doodle when working for Google". Retrieved 2016-10-04.
- ^ "Google hires Opodo's Twohill for marketing strategy". Retrieved 2016-10-04.
- ^ Bacon, Jonathan. "Profile: Lorraine Twohill, Google". Marketing Week. Retrieved 2016-10-04.
I have rewritten the content (using the same sources and others) to include a bit more detail about her early career, removing unconfirmed dates and adding mention of Bord Fáilte and Tourism Ireland.
I suggest replacing the above text with the following more comprehensive overview:
- After graduating, Twohill worked for Burns Philp during the 1990s. She left the company to join the Government of Ireland's Bord Fáilte, where she managed operations for Italy from Milan and later oversaw operations for Northern Europe from Amsterdam.[1] Her first big advertising campaign was for Tourism Ireland, and she was part of the team responsible for developing what became an award-winning tourism website for the Irish government.[2][3] Twohill was later the head of marketing for the online travel agencies Dreamticket and Opodo.[4][1] She left Opodo, where she oversaw all marketing operations, in April 2003.[5]
References
- ^ a b Hunt, Joanne (18 May 2012). "There's more to a doodle when working for Google". The Irish Times.
- ^ Bacon, Jonathan (26 November 2014). "Profile: Lorraine Twohill, Google". Marketing Week.
- ^ O'Brien, Ciara (5 October 2023). "Google in Ireland: 'There's a whole force of Irish in the US who've come from the Dublin office'". The Irish Times.
- ^ Hall, Emma (7 August 2006). "Lorraine Twohill, 35". Ad Age. Crain Communications.
- ^ "Google hires Opodo's Twohill for marketing strategy". Campaign. Haymarket Media Group. 9 July 2003. ISSN 0008-2309.
As I've stated previously, I would prefer not to edit her page myself because I have a conflict of interest. Can someone please review this request and update the page for me? I'd appreciate any help, thanks again! GoogleAB (talk) 22:52, 30 October 2024 (UTC)